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Chaos thundered in some bleak distant place, as the darkness around Berndt became absolute. It was black, darker than black, the kind of black that is diffused out from a black hole, without any material to make it solid or tangible, yet it was paradoxically heavy and oppressive. It was a world of substance and energy, but it was contorted and rough with sharpness and edges everywhere, and it hurt Berndt.
The cold reached to the core of his being, gnawing at his eyes, ears, nose and skin, wherever it was exposed. He ached and shivered seeing as he was blind and couldn't feel his limbs, for they were numb. He couldn't see where he was, nor where to go, but he knew that he was beyond the grasp of solid matter, especially of his body. It was just a reflex of knowing he couldn't find himself or his body in reality.
I can't see? Berndt thought. Why can't I see?
He felt the darkness beginning to get around him, forming a shadow around him and the other bodies that were extended to a certain extent, he did not recall how long the night had been.
"Please God, help me, I need to know where I am…" he said aloud, as if the darkness was a deity. "We are in a spaceship. I can hear engines and a scream, a woman cry, speak to me, God, please..."
He was going to call unto emptiness and utter helplessness, so he began to pray for help in a mantra. He cried out loud with feeling and knew that what he was doing was useless, but with surety he would not have had so much strength and might if he was not certain.
He felt that the body that was around him had started a movement, as if they were all becoming energized and alert, and because they were all moving the darkness was becoming greater, in an increasing pressure, as though someone was constantly pushing and ripping at him. Berndt became aware of how the bodies around him were so many, and he started to become hopeful.
Never mind that he couldn't see, but now he knew there was someone, even if they were just shadows, they would still be there, because he had heard several voices. He knew that his friends or acquaintances were all here with him, led by the voice heard before, if it could call itself that..
What have I done?! the voice said. Why couldn't I help her?
Another voice, deeper and more serious said:
To be honest, there was nothing we could do, and even if she was understood she wouldn't have wanted to stay with us.
It was the first voice again, which answered:
I am so sorry, please don't blame me, I just couldn't.
And again the deep voice said, the voice of reason:
She wouldn't have wanted to be with us anyway, she wanted to be with her husband and daughter, she wanted to be with her family. Do not be sad, it kills me to see you like this, but we have to keep on.