Much of your happiness in life will be determined by your relationships
with other people. Unfortunately, most of your problems
and aggravations in life will also be the result of problems
and difficulties with other people. You therefore owe it to
yourself to become excellent at relationship management and
at working well with others.
Everything you do in life involves other people. The very
best families are models of concerted action. They work
together harmoniously, sharing the work and the responsibilities
and genuinely enjoying each other’s company.
Unhappy families and groups are those where there is continual
criticism, complaining, backbiting, and friction. People
make little effort to get along and are continually picking away
at each other. One of your most important goals is to practice
the principle of concerted action in your personal relationships.
This is the key to happiness and well-being.
The Principle of Concerted Action—Coordinate Your Activities 137
Make a list of all the important people in your family and
in your social life. Determine what it is that they want or need
from you in order to be happy in their relationships with you.
What are your goals for your relationships with the key
people in your life? Especially with regard to your family, what
is it you want to accomplish in your family life? What do you
want to do with or for the key people in your life?
Balance Between Work and Family
To be happy, you need to establish a healthy balance between
your work and your family life. You achieve this by setting balance
as a priority and then by making the changes necessary
for putting your life back into better balance.
There are only four ways in which you can change your life.
You can do more of some things or you can do less of other
things. You can start doing something that you are not doing
today or you can stop doing something altogether.
To get your life back into balance, sit down with the members
of your family, and ask them four questions: “Is there anything
that I am doing that you would like me to do more of? Is
there anything that I am doing that you would like me to do
less of? Is there anything that I am not doing that you would
like me to start doing? Is there anything that I am doing that
you would like me to stop doing altogether?”
If you have the courage to ask these questions, you had
better bring a lunch because you are going to be there for a
long time listening to the answers.
There is a simple two-part formula for achieving and maintaining
balance between your work and family life. This formula
requires that you divide your life into these two basic
parts. You then develop a strategy for each part.
At work, discipline yourself to “work all the time you
work.” Don’t fool around or waste time. Don’t chat with coworkers,
make personal phone calls, read the newspaper, take
long lunches, or go shopping. Work all the time you work!
Remember, if you don’t get your work done, it doesn’t go
away. You have to take it home. As a result, when you waste
time at work, you rob your family of your personal time. This is
not a good policy.
The second part of the formula has to do with your family.
When you are with your family, be there 100 percent of the
time. Remember, the only time that you are really with another
person is when you are “in their face.” It is only when you are
head-to-head, and knee-to-knee.
Resolve to spend at least one hour per day with your
spouse and at least ten to twenty minutes each day with each
of your children. You can spend more if you like but it is not a
good idea to spend less.