Lately I've Been Trying To Meet Girls

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Lately I've been having some problems meeting girls. The thing with me is, I don't really like walking up to a girl I've never talked to and starting a conversation. It's not shyness or anything, its just that it doesn't really seem like a natural way to make friends to me. Based on this I've been wanting to meet a girl some other way, maybe at a gathering, someone introducing me, or something else.

So I've been out trying to meet these sweeties without success. I go to the mall, no success. I go to restaurants and bars, no success. I go-to gyms they're not there, I get into restaurants/bars and they're not there too. You know, it's not like there are zero girls in these places, its that they're so few to chose from. So I think to myself, where can one go to and meet an abundance of girls? Girls can easily go to gyms, sports viewing centers, football fields, etc; simple places like these and meet trillions of guys but where does a guy go and meet a multitude of sweethearts?

As I thought about this, Jesus appeared laughing at me and telling me he knew one day I'd leave my atheism and come back to him. I asked what the hell does he mean? He laughed and disappeared again. When he left I was wondering what that was about. I gave it some deep thought; and that was when it hit me! The church, Nevies! The motherfucking church! That is where you'd meet a trailer load of girls two trailers load of girls!

I immediately started rummaging through my clothes for suitable church clothes. Then I spent some time at the mirror to select the true holy Christian and at the same time sexy expressions that I'd wear while in church like:

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(In tears) Prodigal me, I'm going back to the Lord at last. Leaving everything behind. Nevies is going back to church, people!

(Whistling Amazing Grace..)

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a horny wretch like me..

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