😁 funny jokes 😂

hello friends I want to tell you a joke Haber if I can rejoice for a while because humor is essential. and necessary to make life more bearable I hope you like it and go

(1) Pepito!
Yes Dad?
Son, bring me a soda please
Coca Cola or Pepsi?
Coca Cola
Light or normal?
Normal
Can or Bottle?
Bottle
Of one or two liters?
PTM! Bring me water!
Natural or Mineral?
MINERAL!
Cold or hot?
BUT GOOD ARE YOU MARICON?
Active, passive or versatile?
YOU ARE GOING FOR THE FOURTH!
Right now or later?
YAAAA!
You accompany me or I go alone?
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOY DAMN!
With a knife or a gun?
Putamadre!
The tulla or mine?
(2) What does a tree say to another tree?
They left us planted
(3) Son: dad as you say car in English
Father: car
Son: and man as they say in English
Father: men
Son: then aunt car-men is a transformer
(4) One day a gynecologist goes to a woman with her 10-year-old son.
The gynecologist tells the woman:
Your son must wait outside.
The woman responds:
Do not worry doctor, he already knows many things about sex, we have clarified everything at home.
The gynecologist smiles and gives him a little test with the son of the lady. Take the woman with the breasts and ask the child:
What did I just do?
You just touched my mom's tits.

Curious, the gynecologist, wants to know what else
the child knows and proceeds to make the woman oral.
The child says:
-You just do a cunnilingus to my mother.

The gynecologist is impressed and grabs the mother, lays her on the stretcher and benefits her. When he finishes, he asks the child:
And now what the hell did I just do?
The child answers:
Now you just got Syphilis asshole, that's the reason why we came to see you

(5) There were 2 women going through the supermarket, when suddenly their carts collided. One of them and says:
Ops! Sorry, I did not see you, I was distracted looking for my husband!
Uuuiii! I was also looking for mine ...
Yes? And how is it?
Ah! He is tall, dark, green eyes, wearing tight jeans that mark his nice ass and strong legs. A white shirt, revealing his muscular arms and highlighting his pectorals worked.
And yours?
Mine fuck! Let's go find yours!
(6) A man had a parrot and he spent the day singing and talking, then the man thinks to put the parrot in the fridge to see if he could get it to shut up, then he puts it in the fridge and listens:
Christmas, Christmas sweet ...
Then the man takes it and puts it in the oven and the parrot keeps singing:
Hawaii, Bombay are two paradises ...
The man already angry thinks, so I kill him to see if he keeps quiet at once, then he takes a knife and cuts his neck and seconds the spirit of the parrot appears and begins:
Give me back the life that you have taken from me ..
(7) A woman tells her husband:
If a lion attacked me and my mother, who would you save first?
Well, the lion!
(8) A DRUNK is arrested at four in the morning by a POLICE who rebukes him:
Where are you going?
The drunk, completely drunk, answers:
I am addressing a conference about alcohol abuse and its lethal effects on the body, the bad example for children and the dire consequences for the family, the problem it causes in the family economy and absolute irresponsibility ...
The policeman looks at him incredulously and responds by mocking the drunk:
Really! And what illustrious speaker is going to give this talk at this time?
My wife, when I get home.
I hope you like it and make you laugh for a while at least that is my intention a greeting