Deep sleep



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Hmmm Sorry?

I thought with a hint of annoyance - if only you could see what you are interrupting. It's not as if they would really see and I'm not really doing anything much anyway. Why is it that I'm always the one that gets caught in the middle? I'm the only one that is expected to sacrifice their fun, ignore their needs, let their wants go unfulfilled.

Yet here I am, unable to be angry, which is infuriating.

Sorry I'm just busy, I replied.

It was my friend - loud, opinionated, but with a heart as big as the sun.

Are you eating? She asked next.

Staring at the plate full of paint-covered food.

Though my kitchen smelt of cheese and all types of Indian spices, I didn't usually eat much anymore. Hers was dark, loud and full of laughter. She had a petit frame and her smile was what we would all describe as "girlish". Without that flaw, I wasn't sure I would have considered her, but I never had any trouble talking to her or being friends with her.

No, ya' come over? I offered.

Well if you're interested

I rolled my eyes, but I was pleased she was interested. I like company. For all her loud ways, she was funny, quite red at times and her temper usually made for some good arguments.

Yeah, I'm coming, I replied.

Rushing into my bathroom and touching up my hair, I could feel a twinge of excitement flutter in my stomach. I wasn't sure why I was excited, maybe it was that she seemed genuinely keen to see me and that was somewhat rare as her mother had recently gotten ill and she'd been spending time with her.

It wasn't long before I was walking into her home. Straight away I noticed the smell of freshly cooked rice. There was no one in the house, but I rushed into the kitchen to see her sat nicely in a vintage green chair, a plate on her lap. Her mother was out of the room, so I could just hear her conversation with her friend.

"So she doesn't like it when I call her Lily! What did I do?!"

"Seriously, did she just do that?!"

"I really want to kill her right?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"What?" She asked.

I just shook my head as I sat next to her.

"I don't understand why she acts like this! And I spent ages preparing it!" her mother loudly sighed. She was a tiny lady with gentle eyes. You just want to hug her and give her all the love in the world. Her hair was graying from a combination of stress and age. "She's still upset" she continued. "I don't know if I did something wrong?"

It wasn't hard to tell she was angry. Her voice was stern, but her eyes told a different story. It appeared as if she was having difficulty not getting emotional herself.

"Maybe try to give her some time?" her friend suggested though I sensed little confidence in her voice.

"Okay, but she needs to understand. You know she's only 12, she needs to realise that I'm right here for her whenever she needs to talk." My friend leaned back, arms folded nervously across her stomach.

"Well I'm going. Call me when you're done" and with this, my friend left.

She had a look of remorse on her face when she was gone. I was surprised at her mother's behaviour and I couldn't help but feel some sympathy. I had seen only a glimmer of the mother, but the daughter... sounded like a nightmare.

I'm sorry, I said.

"No, wait! It's not your fault. She just - "

Fine. I know. I don't care. I really don't care.

I began cutting my lunch into small pieces. I was nervous.

I don't know, I went over to the sink.

Did you eat this? I asked pointing at the plate she was holding.

I don't know.

She handed me the plate and I couldn't help but stare at it. It didn't have any peculiar colour or smell, but it was clear she'd made it just for me. She was serious.

I'm not hungry, I said, placing the plate back on the table.

Oh...
I looked at the clock one late afternoon and sighed. I'd spent the last two hours sitting as still as I could, so as to only cross my legs twice. It was one of the first assignments I'd been given in that class.

I was so nervous that day that I couldn't bring myself to talk to anyone. The professor had warned us about how important it was that we spend the whole two hours sat still.

I don't know why I was so scared. I had passed the first test with flying colors, but I just really wanted to do well in her class. I wanted her to notice me.

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