The War on Families: Emotionally-stunted 20-year-olds and the shame of wanting a family

I'm not the sort of person who believes you need to settle down, get married, have a couple of kids to be happy. Or at least, I used to think I wasn't. The more time I spend observing our world, the more I ask myself - is that how I truly feel, or is it just a notion that's been drilled into me by an anti-family society?

I wrote yesterday about how people are finding less and less meaning in their lives, and I feel it's got a great deal to do with the demolition of family, as a desirable goal.

Your parents, obviously, wanted a family. Are you really going to be so passe?

This seems to be a big issue with my generation, and people under 30, today. Suddenly, wanting a family of your own has acquired all these unpleasant connotations:

  • It's sexist and patriarchal to assume that a woman needs a family to be fulfilled - except not really. It' biology. It's inane maternal instinct. It's the need to nurture another human being. The "patriarchy" may be strong, but I doubt it's strong enough to mess with thousands of years of genetic coding.
  • Having kids is selfish. The planet is overpopulated, as is. - That's true, but that doesn't make my wanting kids selfish, per se. Besides, who's to say your child won't be the one to fix our world? And what would happen if you never had them? The overpopulated card also employs a double-standard, as it applies strictly to Westerners. At the same time, we are being told to welcome Muslim families with hordes of children. China has a population of 1.4 billion. So maybe the full explanation, instead of "there's too many people", should be "there's just too many Westerners/whites."
  • Having kids stops you from having a career. - It doesn't stop me, but it does make things more difficult. But then, who said having a career and a kid was supposed to be easy? And since when is a career something so valuable, in the first place? I'm very fortunate in the sense that I enjoy and am good at my work, yet I hardly see not having kids as a worthy trade-off.

The list goes on, and it's essentially saying it's 2021, it's unfashionable to want kids. And many young people are buying it.

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Younger generations wanting kids later and later.

There are countless studies about millennials putting off parenthood to be quoted here, the basic idea being that the average age for a baby is going ever up.

Most of the people <25 I've talked to aren't even considering having a baby, and to be honest, they're not really prepared to. This is because, in our society, the young are encouraged to remain stuck in a state of childhood and helplessness long past its expiry date.

Most of the people I know under 25 (or sometimes even as old as 30) are still spending their time playing video games, watching anime, going to cafes to play board games, and wearing Mickey Mouse shirts. Now, not saying there's anything wrong with any of these things per se, but surely, you see the pattern of childlike, stunted behavior.

Combine this with the emotionally underdeveloped, teenage-like relationships of the 21st century, and our financial instability, of course these people don't want to have kids. They're practically children themselves.

Still living with their parents, playing video games with their 20-something pals, taking girls out to movies - this is 16-year-old behavior, and it looks very poorly at 26.

The decline of romantic relationships in the 21st century

I'm gonna go ahead and blame the Internet, even though I don't think the Internet or specifically dating apps are a bad thing. On the contrary, with the pandemic, I think they were actually a welcome source of social interaction.

That's not to say they aren't harmful, however, as they encourage less effort on both parts. If you can order a pizza through your smartphone, why not a relationship? And if we're encouraged to believe there's a ready-made relationship just waiting on our tap, where's the incentive to work at it?

Furthermore, why should we? The Internet is a place of limitless options, and in this abundance of choice, it becomes impossible to make one.

Young people today aren't looking for anything serious, and that is another sign of emotional immaturity. If you're not ready for a "serious" relationship at 18, that's understandable. If you're not ready for one at 23-24, it's not a good sign. It means that you've evolved little, if at all, in the 5-6 years in-between.

Why shouldn't you look for something serious?

Kids my age aren't thinking about the long-term, and so end up wasting years in relationships that don't go anywhere. Why? Because they're enjoying themselves, and having fun, and that's pretty much all our hedonistic, commitment-addled society asks of them.

Even if they are looking for steady, committed relationships, young people have been bullied into silence because it's unfashionable. They don't want to sound old-fashioned, and even more, they don't want to scare off a potential partner.

The way I see it, wanting a family is a noble, enriching experience, and you should go about it as with any other goal in life. Unapologetically and relentlessly.

Otherwise, you'll just keep wasting time in meaningless hook-ups. You'll let others walk all over you, squandering what is a very short fertile period in your life. If you're not afraid of admitting you want to become a partner at your firm, and so are working and dedicating yourself to that, why shouldn't you also admit to wanting and working towards a family?

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Dawn of Equal Rights - Should women fuck like men?

I think this is the question that the hit shot Sex and the City starts with, so the premise is clearly not new. Yet I can't help but notice that, with women being told they can do anything that men can, we've ended up taking on their worst qualities. Traditionally, men are not supposed to want to settle, to be scared of commitment, less emotionally mature than girls, and so on. So apparently now, our best solution is to imitate them, and act just as scared. Why? To prove we can? Well, what's that going to achieve?

I don't think motherhood is for all women. I just think there's a lot of us pretending to be someone we're not, and caving in to social pressure.

But why? Whence this hate against families?

This, I don't know. There are several arguments to be made. There's the one I made above about someone out there wanting to cut back on white/Western children, presumably in the interest of a predominantly mixed race society in the near future.

Secondly, and this one applies right now, as I pointed out in my previous post, families give you meaning. And meaning is not seen well in our modern, inclusive society, I'm afraid. When you have something to work and fight for, when you have a purpose, it's harder for society to assign you one. Same with having a special someone in your life, lest you start thinking in "us against the world" terms, as those might prove dangerous.

After all, a father with a family to feed is far more perilous than a emotionally insecure boy playing race games with his online pals all night.

What do you think? Have you noticed this as well? If so, why do you think this is happening?

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