Disclaimer: I am not a parent and neither am I on the verge of being one. This is just a chain of thoughts which I went through witnessing upbringing of a kid in my neighborhood.
I am sure no one will disagree to the fact that being a parent is not an easy task. Not that it is an impossible task but sure its a difficult(and pleasant) one. A successful person may want his/her kid to follow their footsteps of success, a failed person might want their kid to achieve what they could not. No one is right or wrong I think. Being right or wrong in such a topic is very subjective. Its about the perspective of the decider.
Parenting can be different in different countries and this one would be more specific to Indian parenting.
Lately in India we have seen a huge difference in the parenting. People are taking specific efforts towards it like taking lessons, reading books, attending workshops etc. In India when I was a kid there was not so much awareness about this topic. I think the reason is the way families live. We had big joint families earlier where 10 to 15 people lived together in a single house. The kids always had someone taking care of them, some other kids to play with and always so many people to look up to. Now that we have more nuclear families with just the parents living with the kid, all the habits of sharing and adopting with others, gelling up with elders other than parents have to be taught explicitly. That calls for the additional parenting lessons.
I have closely seen parents raising their kids in a specific manner where they are forced to follow the footsteps led by the parents. Sure parents have to lead them to become a successful person but they should not decide for them. I think a more wise idea would be to give them a good understanding of how the world is and let them decide for themselves. As @steemgigs says 'Everyone has something to offer'. Help the kid identify that something. Help them understand their strengths and weaknesses. Parents should understand along with being their kid he/she is also going to be an individual. Lead him to build his own identity and not as someone's kid.
A line from @getonthetrain recent blog says that 'Boredom often strikes creativity'. I think it is pretty perfect. Unknowingly parents tend to pamper their kids so much that they make sure that their kid will never be bored. The kid will always have toys to play with. I think the kids should have just enough toys to spend time but not in abundance which will never let them strike innovation. I remember my days of childhood when we did not have table tennis bats or even cricket bats. We used to manage with writing pads or books. This is just a simple example of how a kid can find own ways of entertainment.
'Necessity if the mother of invention' is another very powerful sentence learnt in the childhood. That too is very important. Kids have to always fell some necessity. If they see that everything is readily available they may not learn the skill to achieve something for their own. Make them face challenges at all age groups so that they are ready to face real life challenges independently eventually.
Rich parents often spend enough money nurturing their kids. In this effort they spend a lot of money, have personal coaches for them, make them join classes etc. Sure that's a helpful effort. But I think that it helps more when you learn with your kids. I remember my dad played chess, carom and cricket with me. That made me take more interest in the games. I played hard to show my dad how awesome I am. He was there watching me learn the game. This serves the purpose of kid learning the skill and you monitoring his grasping skills closely.
Kids should be left alone to play with other kids in the neighborhood. That gives them a competitive surrounding to grow in. Which helps dealing to competition in the future. Such exposure gives you n number of experiences which will help you in the future. It teaches you sharing, competition, friendship, jealousy etc. Kids who are pampered with only parents love throughout the childhood often find it challenging in the college or high school days. You should know how to deal with others in the society.
Often I have seen parents praising their kids that they are very smart and talented. Most of the times its fake praising. Honestly speaking with increasing competition and growth all around, the younger generation has to be smarter than the earlier one. It is required for them to flourish in the world. After all its survival of the fittest. It has to be a competition between the new generation. Parents can not compare their kids with themselves to decide if they are smarter. They are truly smarter if they prove themselves against others from their generation.
A kid needs time of parents more than the money or the facilities they provide. Often parents stress themselves and spend more time earning money for their kids. I think that time spent with the younger ones is more precious than any other facility. The time spent together develops love and affection. It teaches more moral values than any lesson or workshop. Plus memories of watching your kid grow-up are for lifetime. Nothing can replace that.
Here in India kids are thought about as a support in the old age. Sure there is nothing wrong in taking care of your parents in the old age. After all they have made you able to live in this world. However it should not be a compulsion. A person may be needed to settle in a different locality, city or at times country too. Parents care should not hold them from doing what they wish to do. And to deal with this problem I go back to @getonthetrain's blog which explains us about being financially independent. Live a frugal life to save for what is absolutely necessary and skip the useless expenses. That way you can feed yourself throughout the life without depending on anyone else.
Do let me know your thoughts in the comments.
