That's Life

Life would be dull, and gloomy if people did not have a sense of humour, if there were no laughter. It is through humour, and laughter, that we soften some of life’s demand on us. And once we can find laughter, no matter how painful the situation might be, we can survive it.

Cultivate, and develop your sense of humour because it is when things are not going well that we need our humour most.

Enjoy today's selection of quips. They are humorous, and at the same time, there is a lot of truth in them. I hope it brings on a smile at least.

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When a diplomat says yes, he means perhaps; when he says perhaps, he means no; when he says no, he is no diplomat. - Vernon K. McLellan

It’s useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office. - Shirley MacLaine

Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories. - John Wilmot

Life is like sex. It’s not always good, but it’s always worth trying. - Pamela Anderson

What’s the use you learning to do right, when it’s troublesome to do right and ain’t no trouble to do wrong, and the wages is just the same? - Mark Twain

The difference between machines and human beings is that human beings can be reproduced by unskilled labor. - Arthur C. Clarke

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the centre of attention. - Unknown

Old age is – a lot of crossed off names in an address book. - Ronald Blythe

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You don’t see faith healers working in hospitals for the same reason you don’t see psychics winning the lottery. - Unknown

The most trying misfortune that can befall a man, is to be domesticated with a bad-tempered woman. - Charles William Day

Show me someone with a skull and crossbones etched on his flesh, and I'll show you someone who doesn't go on a lot of job interviews. - Amy Linden

You can say this for ready-mixes – the next generation isn’t going to have any trouble making pies exactly like mother used to make. - Earl Wilson

Some McDonald’s restaurants are taking reservations on Valentine’s Day. They are getting a lot of tables for one. - Conan O’Brien

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married? - Barbra Streisand

Money won’t make you happy … but everybody wants to find out for themselves. - Zig Ziglar

We should thank God that He did not give us the power of hearing through walls; otherwise there would be no such thing as friendship. - Austin O’Malley



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