I found myself in a situation where I had to make a tough decision while visiting my Mom.
I had to look deeply into my soul and ask myself, "What would I want?"
I knew the answer. It still wasn't easy to make the call.
At the age of fifty-six, my husband and I deal with many friends and our own families coping with people showing advanced signs of dementia.
Covid has shown the world is still a big place. The internet has made the world smaller for communication, yet most people are far from family and friends if a significant health issue arises.
Not being able to spend time weekly with a parent or close friend makes it harder to know how well they are doing when it comes to their health. Living far away leaves you in a position to rely on a person's close friends to relay any concerning health issues to you.
Many couples tell each other what they want to happen if horrible health issues arise. It becomes your safety net as you go through life. If you lose your spouse, you lose your safety net. If you are so inclined, you might meet someone else to fall in love with and once again put a safety net in place.
Watching my husband and sister-in-law cleaning out my Father in law's house has been heartbreaking. Jerry's memories come and go like the wind, so he is not part of cleaning, sorting, and getting rid of the stuff he has collected over the years. Many items are lost to the garbage dump due to a lack of knowledge on someone's part. It has been heartbreaking to watch.
I found myself down in Florida witnessing someone dear to my heart showing signs of dementia. I knew I needed to inform their adult children.
It was awkward to explain who I was and why I called a gentleman who just found out he has aggressive brain cancer to relay more bad news to them. After over an hour of talking to them, I knew I had made the right choice.
It turned out that the person I called poorly needed to talk with someone about what was happening to their Father. The first three minutes of awkwardness were worth it in the end.
I tell this story to remind you to connect with your parents. Know what they want if they become unable to say to you later in life what their wishes are. I am witnessing too many children going through heartache because no one wanted to think too far into the future.
Help someone smile today. It can not hurt you.
Snook
All photos are mine unless otherwise stated.
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