Wednesday was one of those days for me. I had to run some errands on Wednesday and also pick up some lunch for the wife and me. I also like screwing with people too so why not incorporate both; it sounded good to me, so here is a rundown on my little adventure.
We are three days into this asinine judge’s order requiring face masks and I am not about following orders to begin with. I love seeing the panic on people’s faces when I walk into a business without a face mask on.
I went in three different places and was greeted with, “you can’t come in here without your face mask”. So I just stopped and said, “are you kidding me?” All three of the business informed that they had to follow the judge’s orders. “Great, then I can come in just like I am.” and continued walking up to the counter.
The first place was the storage place where I rent a unit to keep work samples in and the woman told me that I really needed to leave or put a face mask on.
“Is the judge going to pay my storage fees?”, I asked. The reply was “No”. “Well that’s what I am here to do, so here is my check.”, and I put the check on the counter.
I asked her if she had even read the judge’s order and she admitted she hadn’t. I told her that she might want to actually read it for herself and not rely on the media to tell you what it says.
“I’m a customer and not a visitor. The judge’s order says visitors must wear masks.” I then told her that she can just email me my receipt as I turned around and walked to the door.
“Are you serious?” she asked, “it doesn’t say customers?” I turned back towards her and I said, “look at it for yourself and read it as it is written. And for me being serious, I tell you this much. If you ever try and force me to follow some bogus order of hers you won’t ever get another nickels worth of my business”.
From there my next stop was the cell phone store to pay Shortie’s phone bill. It was pretty much the same thing except the young girl working the counter said she was just following her manager’s order but she would mention the “visitor / customer” thing to him.
She did say that they just started the face mask policy on Monday so she was sure it had to do with the judge’s order. She took my money and gave me the receipt and it was off from there to pick up lunch.
The wife had ordered our food from Jason’s Deli because they have a drive thru window and I could just pick it up without having to even get out of my truck. Very thoughtful of Daisy, but I was in a “good mood” so I parked and went inside.
The dining area was open and there were two tables with two people at each, that was all for dine in customers. The young lady called me out for no mask as I approached the counter.
‘Judge’s orders’ she insisted and I replied, “I’m here to pick up an order.” The manager heard our back and forth so he came to the counter to enforce the policy.
Before he could even speak I said, “I’m here to pick up an order” and he said , “sir you have to have a face mask on to be in here.” I said, “really, there are at least four people in here without masks that I can see.”
He said “you have to be sitting down to not wear a mask”. So I promptly sat my ass down on the floor by the counter, handed him my credit card and told him the name on the order.
He was stunned, he then said, “well, I guess there is more than one way to skin a cat”. He told the girl to get my food and he started processing the ticket.
I asked him if he was worried about me being in there without a mask. He said, “I just don’t want to get fined.” I can appreciate that, these businesses have had a tough time these last three months.
So I asked him if he had even read the judge’s order and he admitted he hadn’t. Just like everyone else he saw the judge on the news telling folks what was in the order.
“You do know the difference between a customer and a visitor, right?”, I asked looking up from the floor. He was slow to answer my question so I went on, “a customer is someone who’s buying something and visitor is there on social terms or just looking around”.
Then I told him to pull up the judge’s order on the county website and see for himself that customers are not mentioned in the judge’s order; only visitors.
I then said, “it doesn’t make a damn bit of sense that you can have people seated eating in here if things are really that bad now; does it?” He agreed with me.
He was about early thirties or maybe late twenties and I like calling young folks “son” or “missy” depending on their gender. “Son, if I were ten years old I could be standing here in front of you with no mask instead of having to sit on the floor, does that make any sense at all to you?”
It was like a light bulb had gone on inside his head, “get up sir. We’ll have your food ready in a second, and here is your receipt and your card.”
Then he told me that as soon I leave he’s getting on the internet and going to read that order for himself.
“If you would like to make wager on what is in that order, I’ll give you 10 to 1 odds, all you need to do is figure out how much you’d care to lose.”, I offered him.
He didn’t take my offer and right then the young miss came up with my food and handed me the bag.
I left there and headed home. When I got home the wife said, “where’s the tea?” to which I replied, “you know how those damn drive thru people are, they can’t ever get anything right and I didn’t know what you had ordered. Sorry.”
I did offer to go back and get it for her, but she said just let it go. I can tell you one thing, if I had gone back I wasn’t going through the drive up window.
Until next time,
Sult
