Improve self-esteem in children: some practical advice
A good self-esteem is a precious resource for dealing with life in a serene and constructive way. Improving self-esteem in children therefore becomes a very important objective, because it will help them to become more resilient adults. This does not mean that you will protect your little ones from the difficulties of life, but you will give them a small large piece of luggage to cope with them in a positive way, learning to face the complexities with an extra march.
Fortunately, self-esteem is not a given thing. We are not born with high or low self-esteem. It is built over time, based on various factors that come into play and influence each other. Adults who surround the child, life experiences and the environment in which they are placed play a fundamental role in defining their way of being. The first years of life, in fact, are fundamental to lay the foundations for good self-esteem. Improving self-esteem in children from an early age is therefore a goal that we must set ourselves as responsible adults of the new generations.
IMPROVING CHILDREN' S SELF-ESTEEM: THE ROLE OF EDUCATION
The child's living environment has a strong influence on the possibility of creating good self-esteem in children. In particular, a fundamental role is played by the educational style adopted. Many studies have shown that an authoritative educational style is the one most able to develop good self-esteem in children. An authoritative educational style helps to develop trust in the child, who feels heard, understood and supported. The parent, therefore, must become the safe base from which the child can return, but without denying him/her the possibility of exploring the world.
HOW TO IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM IN CHILDREN?
- REALISTIC OBJECTIVES. It is important to set realistic targets for their children. Often the expectations of the young are often exaggerated and, this, risks necessarily to bring out the always losing child. It is important, however, to become aware of the strengths and weaknesses of their children and to set goals for improvement, but always within their reach. We must move on to what Vygotsky calls the "proximal development zone" in the area between the current and potential levels of development.
- ATTENTION TO THE PROCESS. In a society like ours where the focus is always on results, we should shift our focus more towards the process. It is not the outcome that matters, but the commitment, dedication and motivation that are put in place to achieve a goal. Praise, for example, should also be more focused on this issue. It is the commitment that must be rewarded, not just the result.
- ALLOW ERRORS TO BE MADE. Often children are often overprotected, not allowing them to experience failure. However, by not experiencing the mistake, children are not protected, on the contrary. It is impossible (luckily) to prevent children from any kind of failure. The message that passes, in fact, is that you cannot be mistaken and you must avoid losing at all costs. At this point, when it happens, it will be very serious for the child because he or she does not contemplate error in their life experiences. If, on the other hand, the child knows that he or she can be right, but also wrong, then he or she will be better able to incorporate this experience into his or her life story and not to live it as something excessively distorted by his or her own identity.
IMPROVE SELF-ESTEEM IN CHILDREN BY BELIEVING IN THEM
Self-esteem is structured according to the messages that, more or less explicitly, are transmitted to children. Not only what is said, but how it is done, what experiences are made to live, how much autonomy is granted to them. Children, in fact, need to experiment and, as has been said before, they also need to make mistakes. This does not mean letting them do what they want, on the contrary. It means creating a supportive but structured context, with simple and defined limits and rules. Within this context, children can move and experience.