ASK KRIS # 3: MY FRIEND MY DOOM

Hello Kris,

Greetings and appreciation on the good works you are trying to establish by creating a forum where people can freely share.

Please, I recently experienced a backstabbing from someone who was supposed to be my friend and felt and still feels so hurting. 

What is your take on your friend becoming your doom?

Thanks.

Miss. 

RESPONSE:

Hello Miss, 

Thank you miss for finding time to write to me. Also note that the link to this post is sent as a reply to your mail box.

Miss, I would like to let you know that this issue is not peculiar to you; In fact I just experience one of such and I also believe most of those reading this post must had some experience of sort in the past, so your contributions and comments would be highly needed. 

In my own case, it was some colleagues in my place of work and working in same department; unknown to me, have written a petition against me. Allegations of theft, mismanagement of funds among others have been written against me by colleagues in the same department. I was called to account for all these and was found that the allegations were false, In fact, I was actually recommended for a continuing in managing the same job, position and affairs. The main reason for such allegations from findings was envy and wishing they had been in that position. That's it!

RECOMMENDATIONS

In this case, not knowing what may have resulted to yours, I would simply want to recommend you do the following:

• Check On Yourself: Most times, we are the cause of what happens to us. Infact, environmental and safety science proved that about 95% of eventuality and disaster that happens around our environment are caused by man; only about 5% is an act of God (natural disaster). It is possible your attitude, disposition and characters towards handling of things and people may be the cause. You know, when we do the wrong things, we expects our friends to cover up for us, but when your friends can't do that at the spot because of the position the events has placed them at the spot, we tend to feel bad about it. You know what, that situation can be avoided thereby avoiding putting our friends in an hot-spot trying to defend us to their detriment. I once had a friend in the office whom I always tell of his wrong procedures in handling of official assignments, and one day, he was called to defend his actions, he couldn't and I also couldn't defend him because it was obvious, but these could have been avoided if he had listened to me and changed his approach on doing things. So, it's important to note that we could be the cause to our own doom.
• Honesty And Integrity: Been honest is vital in life and relationship with others. We need to understand that at all times, not sometimes......, it is expected for us to be honest with people, with ourselves and with friends. Integrity comes when we are honest over time. With time and consistency in been honest with ourselves and friends, integrity is established. And whenever an allegation of any sorts is established against you and knowing your integrity over time; your friends and loved ones can always come in defense even if it will cost them.
• Avoidance: It is necessary to note that after checking your attitude and character and knowing that you have been honest and having integrity over time and also knowing that you are not at fault, you must then avoid all forms of familiarity and overly friendship that may lead you to doom. Some common sayings and quotes states that, " Show me your friends and I will tell you whom you are " and also " Evil communication corrupts good manners ". It is important to call off all forms  of association and company leading you to doom.
• Restriction: The challenge sometimes is that there are certain situation and circumstances you may find yourselves and that will make it difficult to avoid those that are doom to you. In that case, you can create a restriction and limits to prying into each others activities. Know what led to the actual cause of backstabbing and restrict yourself to the limitations that could result to future back-stabbing occurrences.

Thank You Miss.

Thank you guys, Love you all.

If you are reading this, do well to write your comments and contributions.

LET'S SHARE

To encourage someone with your stories and experiences, unburdening your worries and challenges, seek advice and the view points of others (you can do it anonymously, if you like), simply send a mail to counselmaster13@gmail.com  

#askkris