Drawing a goddamn clown is so fucking easy and I think more people should try it. I'm sick of seeing so many landscapes. Waterfalls don't make people happy. Clowns do. So stop wasting your time pretending to be a camera and learn how to draw a goddamn clown already.
In case you haven't figured it out, today I plan to teach you how to draw a goddamn:
Couldn't Help But Notice
I haven't been receiving much engagement on my art posts lately.
It can't be my "attitude" so I assume it's because either:
- A) People simply don't give a fuck anymore.
- B) People found someone better than me, so they broke up with me, but forgot to tell me.
- C) I'm not as cool as I thought I was; which is just ridiculous.
- D) I haven't been drawing enough goddamn clowns.
- E) People think I'm being serious when I'm not.
Do I seem angry?
Yes?
Well you'd be correct. Why?
I had to spend all day drawing a goddamn clown just to impress people who won't give a shit about me unless I do what they want; and that's clowns.
Maybe clowns make you happy but I fucking hate clowns!
The last time I hung out with a clown, all I remember is drinking beer. The next thing I know I'm in an elevator alone, naked, there's clown makeup smeared all over my butt cheeks, and my asshole feels different.
Too much information?
Too bad!
This is way better than going on the Dr. Phil show to talk about it because at least here, nobody will even find out!
I don't believe even for one minute people will be interested in a post about how to draw goddamn clowns!
All I had to do today was write the post about, "Like, oh my god! Did you see the price of HIVE today!" People would've come from far and wide to read what Captain Obvious had to say but no! I'm the moron who decides to spend an entire day drawing a goddamn clown just so people who have nothing better to do with their lives can finally stop being so boring!
"Like, oh my god! I'm in lockdown. Sure wish I knew how to draw a clown."
Said nobody!
Ever!
Anyway. That's a long enough introduction. It's time to get serious.
How to draw a goddamn clown.
You do it like this:
What do you mean, "That doesn't look like a goddamn clown!"
Have some patience, people. Do you think a goddamn clown simply draws itself? You haven't even seen that thing dance yet and that's only step four out of fifty!
Art takes years to create!
Why would you come to a post about learning how to draw goddamn clowns and forget to bring some composure!
What is with this short attention span nonsense these days? Are you late for an appointment with another artist? Are you cheating on me!
I ain't got time for this shit!
This post is over!
Here's your goddamn clown:
And here's how to draw a goddamn clown!
- Draw a stick man/robot thing.
- Give it some friends.
- Give them drugs and music.
- Let them dance and do drugs until they make a clown out of themselves.
Simple!
Everyone knows that and now you can, too.
Congratulations...
Disclaimer: The intention was humor. If, for some reason, you actually thought I was an angry asshole artist, you should probably vote, because that means I did a good job. No clowns have ever raped me. I actually like clowns. This post was not designed to teach anyone anything and is for entertainment purposes only. No clowns were harmed in the making of this post except for me.
Have a nice day.
