This may sound like a problem - being a "maniac". The real problem with being an eleutheromaniac is that my crazy passion for freedom is constantly challenged and oppressed which leads to frustration, resentment and, sometimes, depression. Now that's a problem!
There were so many influences contributing to this affliction but ultimately I brought it on myself. I need to own that. And if you are one, you need to own it too.
I've been called crazy, (I AM crazy...crazy about freedom!), self righteous, selfish, and greedy, among other more colorful names. It hurt a little at first but it helped me take a good, hard look at myself and how I relate to others when sharing my passion to be free. I've tried to learn from it and use a little different approach. However, there are some people who will just never understand nor want to. That's OK. They're on their own journey (one that unfortunately advocates that really nasty things be done to me and others).
So here I am dealing with this affliction. Thankfully, I am not alone and that has helped me retain some level of sanity. I try to do things that at least make me feel a little freer. I try to find ways to starve the beast of fascism/statism. I try to find solutions and not just focus on the problem. I'm a farmer. Yeah, I'm owning that too. I used to guffaw at that thought. "I have a little garden. A few chickens. I grow plant medicine. I mow a lot of grass. I move a lot of crap. But that hardly makes me a farmer", I'd say. I guess I felt unworthy of the title "farmer" but now I realize I deserve it because it's totally what I do.
I am also an activist. A label I'm not too sure I want. I've dabbled in political activism which really seems to be contradictory to my philosophy. My activism has primarily been focused on changing drug laws in the state of Oklahoma. I believe that all drug laws should be repealed. No one has the right tell others what they can and cannot ingest. The system/state is inherently immoral and downright evil. So how does one improve an inherently evil system by begging the magical makers of laws to change laws or to "legalize" drugs? Then I have this other dialogue, "I'm not begging. I'm demanding that which is right and just". That sounds great but is that really what I'm doing? I'm asking that laws be changed so the state minions will stop locking up peaceful people because all they know to do is follow orders regardless of morality or justice. At times I feel particularly challenged and resolved to dig my heels in deeper and fight. And then other times, I retreat, focus on my little world, my farm, and family. I feel like the "fight" is nothing but a hamster wheel powered by insanity. I guess I'll go with it though. Fight when I feel like fighting and retreat when I feel like retreating. Maybe I'll find my proper place eventually. I would encourage people to do some political activism so they can see for themselves what a mess it is; asking for permission to live freely, asking the state to repeal bad laws but when those bad laws are the health and wealth of the state, why would they? And people call ME crazy.
My name is Lisa and I'm an eleutheromaniac and I'm grateful to share this virtual space with all of you other maniacs.