People with social anxiety describe looking someone in the eyes as anxiety-provoking and uncomfortable.
This is in part normal, because when you look someone in the eye, it makes you feel uncomfortable. The more you are talking to a person you will feel like someone of value for you, the more you may have a difficult time maintaining good eye contact.
Eye contact is one of the key components of your nonverbal interactions ; this skill often make the person feels like you are confident, trustworthy and emotionally stable. Here are the tips :
To boost your eye contact with people, alternate between defining the color, shape, and whites of their eyes. Check out the length and color of their lashes. Are they wearing contact lenses or glasses? How far apart are their eyes? Count their blinks. Determine whom they are looking at most.
Check out a woman’s eye makeup. Is she wearing false eyelashes? After a few months of doing these exercises, looking into peoples’ eyes will be a breeze. Strong eye contact will be second nature.
whether you are judging an idea, a business proposal, or a person— momentarily give a slight scrutinizing expression. Th en, if and when you are ready to seal the deal or win their warmth, morph it into a slight smile of acceptance. They now feel they have “won” your approval.
If this doesn’t feel comfortable, try letting your eyes go slightly out of focus. Very occasionally it’s okay to break it by looking around the room like you’re distracted by something (doing this is a bit of a push). You should unlink your eyes more when you are not talking, like if you were thinking about the discussion.
If you tend to talk in long sentences, you may find that making eye connection with one person for a whole sentence is too long. If that’s the case, move to another person at the end of a phrase.
Refrain from wearing sunglasses when you’re interacting with people, and try for longer and longer until it is comfortable and continuous. Try to notice other people’s eye contact.
Avoid continuously being distracted by the things around you : the eye is naturally programmed to focus rapid movements, to prevent situations with predators and for fast reaction.
The best level is like merging with your interlocutor. The synchronisation of the eye contact seems nothing, but this has a very deeply unconscious meaning. Add to this contact a smile. If he Smiles Back, give him the warm look. Remember you must always respect people who are uncomfortable.
Have fun making eye contacts with others !
