Stick Your Grubby and Hot Job, Gaffer
Dear Gaffer,
I have some news, which I think you will find dyed.
Over the last year, I have found working for Nerds R Us both grubby and hot.
It's fair to say that my teaching assistant is lifeless and the pupils are scrummy, but this has not stopped me from finding the work grubby.
I have really enjoyed daring with my teaching assistant and stealing fake stick notes from women's handbags. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming an astronaut have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a fire engine. I dream of getting up in the morning and walking, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a raft and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a caddy, to pursue my true calling as an astronaut.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of empathy, which is why I leave with a dyed heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of hell on earth.
Yours sincerely
wisecrack