Toxic Love (Valentines Troubles)

Ok, let me start by saying this isn't some cynical, anti-valentines day post. To tell you the truth, Valentines Day is one of the best parts of the year for me. I've always swayed towards the romantic side of the human energy, and I've always encouraged the open sharing of love and deeper sentiments; after all, life is far too short to do otherwise. But at the same time, I see how such a "one-off" day of love can actually be used to further toxicity in a relationship in many ways. For as with everything there are always those who wish to take something positive, but seek to apply it in a negative way.

I actually think certain individuals (I shall refrain from using terms such as narcissists and manipulators, but you catch my drift) have essentialy found ways to "weaponise" Valentines Day. Where a bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates and cards with sentimental messages are used more like a surgical strike intended to either cause distress or as pacification rather than as gifts to bring joy and happiness. Although I think this is because too many of us mistake certain other aspects of the human psyche as love. For example, some people do not want to share their life with a partner who owns an independant will or mind, they simply want to control them. Some people don't want their lover to feel free and happy either, they want them to feel defeated and bound to their side. Because their toxic behaviour makes them very unappealing to to those who can see it, and so in order to ensure their unhealthy traits are consistently enabled they require someone subservient; who they can "manage".

Just this morning I saw a friend of mine on Social Media the target of such a surgical strike. Long story short, this friend had a partner who has a number of personal issues that cause them to suffer a significant personality disorder which on occasion can cause them to act very paranoid, childish, aggressive (but not violent) and vindictive. Despite this my friend stayed with them, supporting them and constantly encouraging them to seek help in resolving these problematic issues, but no matter what their partner always refused every single time. But earlier in the year these issues became too excessive one too many times and so my friend bravely called an end to the relationship, unable to suffer the emotional distress it caused them any longer. Not happy about this decision, my friends partner swiftly hooked up with another person and all day has been posting non-stop a staggering number of over the top messages of love and affection in a public forum, all accompanied by intimate photos of them together in every version of a loving embrace one could fashion. All this because they know my friend (their ex-partner who they once claimed to love more than life itself) will see them everytime they open their social media apps on this, the annual international day of love. In this situation it's clear to see that there is no love to be found here whatsoever, neither towards my friend or towards the person whom they have hooked up with in haste. We see nothing but a clear and desperate intention to punish someone simply because they would no longer enable their toxic behaviour.

Similarly you have those who's toxic behaviour remains constant over the year and they see Valentine's Day as a get out of jail free card, where one day of care and attention somehow makes up for 364 days of abuse and neglect; all past sins forgiven. This is not love either as it's simply a form of manipulation in order to ensure that this person continues to enable their toxic behaviour moving forward. Who knows, maybe this is more of a rant than anything else (hey, I'm not above them you know lol) but it's just so frustrating to see peoples unhealthy behaviour towards others being dressed up as the actions of a loving and caring person. Because the truth is that when you love someone you don't want to see harm come to them, not from others, not from yourself, not even from the person unto themselves. You would surely want them to feel safe and happy, right? If not, then you should be asking yourself what it is you are really looking for...

Anyway, that's enough of my ranting ;-) To everyone I wish you a very happy Valentines Day and hope you have a great day with the one you love. Genuine love isn't always easy to find so if you have it, then don't you dare do anything apart from enjoy it and make the most of it, for you are truly blessed :-) <3

Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and view my content, I am most honoured indeed and hope you have a really great day :)

Best wishes
Westley xx