The following is part 1 of a 3 part series on developing a magickal practice and is a collection of essays from my first year of formal training in wizardry from Greyschool of Wizardry.
Meditation
During my meditations I have chosen to employ the Clear Mind technique. I have chosen this technique because I have come to the realization that I desperately need to possess the ability to pause my thoughts in order to savor the essence of the moment in perfect clarity. An example of this is seen in Yoga during breathing; it is said that "the moment that occurs between breathing cycles is when the mind is at its clearest". (unknown source) I need these moments of clear thought as it is in these precious moments that I can begin to relive the relentless mental stress in which I continuously experience. For me personally, the wizardly skill of meditation is most needed and at the same time one of the hardest things I have ever had to learn.
I am beginning to realize how each of the skills that we have learned in this class have built upon one another in order to support the practitioner during meditation. A clean area in which to meditate; as in physically cleaning the area as well as Clearing The Space is most beneficial to this practice. Centering and Grounding are useful when preparing to meditate as this helps to focus the mind and establish a healthy energy balance with in yourself. A Shield can be used to block negative energy during meditation. Practicing Yoga before meditation relaxes muscles as well as the mind. At this point in time my results are promising at best. I do possess the ability to completely clear my thoughts temporally and I can maintain minimal "monkey mind" for short periods of time. I realize that this is one skill that requires about as much time and practice as a novice musician learning to master an instrument.
Now that I have reviewed it in writing; I have realized that I require scheduled time to meditate. In the past I have used a stick of incense to measure time during meditation. This method has worked quite well for me as the time frame is quite reasonable. In order to grow in my experiences I should meditate at a specific time of day. The important thing is that I make it a daily habit. With this foundation established, I feel that I will be successful in meditation as well as in Wizardry.
I have been writing in a journal on a regular basis for about two years; and since I have begun the practice, I must admit that my efforts have been some what disorganized. I prefer to use the composition books as they have a hard cover and are relatively inexpensive. My habit is to enter into my journals all day long by writing out most of my important thoughts as well as miscellaneous pieces of information, websites, and various topics of interest in which I would wish to explore. The drawback to this method is that my journals have been extremely disorganized as well as informal.
In this class it is my intention to start anew by writing in my journal with organization, formality, and keeping an eye towards actually saving what I write for future reference; as opposed to throwing them all out; as a result of frustration because my musings are a chaotic mess. Another difference is that in a formal journal I will write in it at a prescribed time, ideally after my nightly meditation.
In my formal journal I have printed and glued a copy of the Magickal Journal Bookplate and filled in the blanks. On the back cover I have included a printed copy of The Rules of Wizardry, some tips on cultivating Qi, and a copy of the Defensor Oath in which I have taken upon entering into the D.A.D.A. club. I have hand written the oath onto the first page of my Magickal Journal as well. Additionally, I have included a dream journal along with my regular musings. In the very near future I will be writing in a formal dream journal as well.
In the past I have included excerpts from various books and articles relating particularly to such subjects as Yoga, meditation, alchemy, herbalism, and healing. In the beginning of 2008, I spent about six months living with my father in San Diego studying Yoga. During this time I began researching Wizardry in the public library and recording the information in various journals. It was a delight looking back upon them some time later and charting the progress that had taken place during that time. Regretfully I no longer possess the recordings as I have stated previously about the drawbacks of not keeping a formal record and the feelings of frustration that one experiences as a result of looking over chaotic musings of the past. My reasons for throwing them away are analogous to preforming a self cleansing. It was a means of distancing my self from the ground swell of negativity contained with in the chaos.
Shielding
In the beginning of my magickal working with shielding, I centered, grounded, and cleansed my self. Then I projected a shell of protection in my personal color. I noticed fire flies, then twinkling objects in the night sky. Then to the north was a large flash that opened up the night sky. I think it was a meteor. Then I noticed that I could clearly see my aura.
I could envision my shell as a futuristic bright yellow orb and I was beginning to sense that others were taking notice of my emanations. Fairies I suspect. It was as if I was being acknowledged my the magickal night creatures. I suddenly began to grow my aura emissions within my finger tips and they were as cats claws. Then I had flashbacks of a time in Egypt when I lived at the bank of the Nile in a typical squalid mud hut and worshiped cats. I feel connected to them as if they were calling me to borrow their bodies and see through their senses. A gift of my magickal education perhaps. The over all feeling I experienced was like a culmination of synchronicity showing me the right path. The magickal path.
The result was the day after I felt more confident, clean, and protected. I felt my personal energies sealed in within my personal area. There was a noticeable difference in my attitude. It was a great day! I was able to handle more responsibility and I had greater emotional control. I would describe shielding like both a buffer zone and a projected image shield capable of reflecting the image that you wish to convey. The day ended with a centering, grounding, and self cleansing.
Self Cleansing
During this past week I had made a commitment to focus on cleansing practices. The difficulty with this was that I had been out of town during most of the week. However, I had remained firm with my commitment and here are the results of my practice.
Monday night after work I went to the beach where I swam in the ocean. I sat near the shore in the water and began centering and grounding myself. Sinking my fingers into the sand, I felt a deep connection with the ocean. Strong winds were blowing in from the water. I could really experience the raw power of the elements of that place. Just as I was releasing the negative energy as if right on cue, a large wave came in at just the opportune moment and washed the energy away.
Six days later, as I sat cross legged, eyes closed between two trees in front of my neighborhood; I felt vulnerable. Yet I was already connected with the winds and birds. Two gold and white cats had come by to greet me. They seemed jealous of one another for my attention. Then I realized just how connected I had felt, not only with them, but with the trees and grasses as well. I had visualized the negativity balled up in my chest using the simple method. As I sent the energy down into the earth through my fingers and toes, which were sunk into the ground like roots on a tree. In exchange for the energy, I had received Gaea's message to me. It was the realization that I am an instrument of her power. A force to be reckoned with. A being capable of both great alteration and manipulation of the many things in this world. At the same time, tiny ants and spiders crawled across my body furthering my connection with her. Humbled by this experience I felt how I am a part of the earth and now feel my place within the web of life.
Exploring Your Magical Senses
Over the past week I have been concentrating my mental efforts on exploring both my physical and metaphysical senses; When I suddenly had an epiphany which had strengthened my understanding of my past experiences and had brought those experiences into the present in order to be utilized in my current practice.
I have ranked them accordingly: Hearing, Visual, Smell, Taste, and Touch. One of the major differences that I have found is that physical stimuli for me seems overwhelming, like a sudden burst of sensation. My metaphysical senses being untrained, seems darker, dimmer, and undeveloped. It is surprising that with my physical senses being used in everyday life, somehow because of my complete lack of training, I have managed not to notice things in any real detail and then commit these sensations into metaphysical reality in order to be used in my magickal practice.
In my work as a Handyman's Apprentice, visualization is a critical component in preforming my job well. I have to be able to visualize the relationship of different pieces and understand how the parts fit together. One of the more challenging operations is in carpentry when two 45 degree angles have to fit together to complete a corner.
I think that the reason some metaphysical senses are stronger than others for me is my past experiences. When I was 16 years old, there was a woman who was like a mother to me, who happened to be a Buddhist Witch. On her alter was a small gong and the sound of it, I have kept like a precious jewel deep in my heart. To this very day that tone has the power to bring my spirit back to that alter. The sound of it always reminds me of who I truly am, and what I really want out of life. For me; It is the sound of innocence. As I think of it once again, I can see the alter; the placement of the gong, and the room in which it is in. I can smell the burning oils and incense filling the room.
"Perhaps our modern culture has an effect on our ability to both perceive physical stimuli and internalize these sensations. Our culture tends to place more emphasis in the physical world at the expense of the metaphysical. We are socialized to place our faith in science and physical evidence because our society lives in absolute fear of the unknown." (Common Knowledge)
I am certain I have heard the above passage before as I am retelling knowledge that is as old as time. Unfortunately, I fear that what was once common knowledge about the differences between the physical world and the metaphysical have become at least forgotten and at worst some how twisted, manipulated and turned against us.
Centering and Grounding
In both my centering and grounding experiences over the past few days, I chose to employ both of the simple methods. I am a complete novice in all areas of Wizardry; as it took me three days of practicing before I experienced my first and only fleeting moment of bliss and hence minor success.
Inability to concentrate for any length of time is a major obstacle. Once I had succeeded, the experience had allowed me to gain a sense for the feeling of being centered. I had used the other method in which I had attempted to visualize the color of light. One problem that I had was that I could not tell the source from which the light had emanated until I had seen the light not from an external source but from my minds eye. Success! It was at that moment that I had experienced the joy of the thing, and then I was naturally led to the question of the color of the light. Was it white or yellow? I think it was flame like.
Nevertheless, it was an experience in which I now look forward too. I have since experimented with Grounding and I tend to visualize twisting green vines screwing there way deep down into the Earth. I have also tried visualizing a Shielding barrier in which I cast an eggshell like force around my body. I have maintained a regular Yoga routine for many months now and this class complements it perfectly.
Clearing Space
Now that I have set up an alter, I now know what the significance of a burning stick of incense upon it has. I feel the area being cleansed by the smoke. I made some consecrated water from a recipe that I had found and experimented with it by sprinkling some around an area and upon my body and face. I discovered that this has a rejuvenating as well as cleansing effect. The limitations to this method is that my own personal energies are not well developed and tend to be to dark and negative for this work. I lack faith in most things, particularly myself. I have never practiced in any sort of public ritual. I did purchase a smudging stick. However I found that as it is with most things in the craft, I feel like I am going to do something wrong as in " One should not blow upon the smudging stick or you might blow away the good spirits with in the smoke".
My own personal difficulty is dealing with negativity. I now realize the connection between the banishing of negativity and meditation. The difficulty with clearing space is not unlike the difficulty faced by the undisciplined "monkey mind". Both are similar in there undesirable amplifying effect. The banishment of negativity only serves to increase negativity just as the clearing of thought only increases thoughts. These two fundamental skills are defiantly easier said than done. Over the past few months I have come to realize that there are things that I can do in order to improve my practice such as limiting my caffeine intake and further practice.
I realize that it is my desire to be at peace with myself and the universe that has been a source of personal power for my in these endeavors. It is my prayer that I can one day overcome the effects of a heavy heart by fully embracing wizardry and practicing the wisdom therein. As a result of my practice I have discovered that to my surprise, the use of a make shift rattle in my right hand and a stick of incense in my left was the most effective method that I have used. As I walked deosil around the room clearing the space; I discovered the reasons that the rattle worked best for me. It was the combination of physical action, sound, and rhythm through motion. I felt as if I was actually doing the work of breaking up the negativity as this method relies less on my own personal energies and more on physical action.
Working Magick for others:
In the first scenario it would seem that there is some type of negative energy present with in the apartment. The first thing that I would do is ask my friend for permission to clear the space in their home. If they agreed then I would either advise them to do some physical cleaning of the house or I could assist with this as well. Before doing any type of clearing I would first like to prepare for the operation by first Centering and Grounding my own personal energies as well as doing a Self Cleansing of my energies where I would; first sit quietly and focus on my breathing and then follow my breath into my center and collect my energy there before moving on down into my spine and then further down astrally into the earth through and extension of my self, represented as twisting dark brown roots which emanate from all points of contact with the earth. After an exchange of energy, I would then concentrate all of the negativity from with in my being and explode in out and down into the ground. At this point I would cast a personal shield of the purest energy that I could muster; so light in color that it possesses a reflective sheen to it.
I would be dresses in magical regalia such as in my apprentice white robe and cingulum. I would bring with me the necessary tools in which to preform the clearing: smudge stick, incense, consecrated water, rattle, drum and besom. With my instruments in hand I would respectfully walk deosil around the dwelling actively seeking pockets of negativity and either dispersing or collecting them and then properly disposing of the negative energy.
After the operation I would put away my tools and preform another Centering, Grounding, Self Cleansing and Shielding in order to protect myself from potential harm. At this point I would like to meditate and reflect upon the magical working in which I has previously preformed.
With regards to the second scenario, I am some what knowledgeable in the realm of research. If I were to encounter problems and I had exhausted the traditional resources such as the Internet, library, or school network; I would attempt to alter my perception and thus my understanding of the subject through my "other senses". Focusing my mental creativity through meditation and employing visualization with a combination of the five senses might just allow me to perceive the unobservable and thus provide me an additional source of information, guidance, and perspective.
In the third scenario I will do the following: Centering, Grounding, Self Cleansing, and Shielding. Additionally in this scenario it might appear that my shield is becoming ineffective; "Professor, you once advised me to take a bath using salts and herbs in order to rejuvenate the field".
The last scenario deals directly with stress. Dealing with stress begins with maintaining healthy behaviors such as getting eight hours of sleep and eating nutritional foods. Time management is crucial in managing stress as is being physically fit and well groomed. These are the mundane task involved in daily stress reduction. Additionally as magicians it is wise for us to use our skills in order to effectively manage the enormous amount of raw energy in which we continually face. By being good to ourselves and to others, through self reflection and personal evaluation; we can then begin the process of learning to quiet our minds through meditation and thus expand our skills as not only Wizards but as sane citizens with in the global community.
