Last weekend I went for a ceremony. It was a circle of women and men. We gathered to regain the strength we are losing because of the way we are living our everyday lives in the West. The main part of the weekend ceremony was a traditional Aztec temazcal ritual. So, after writing about the female and male principles I actually went out to practice, to gain a better connection, to understand more.
The temazcal was prepared for us in a rather deep and rocky chasm in the middle of a forest. There was a stream with crystal clear water at the bottom of the chasm. It was possible to get really good and tasty water for drinking from a well nearby. The air was clean and refreshing. The elements were all around us.
The ceremony was lead by an Aztec friend of ours. He comes every year to visit us in Europe to do traditional Aztec dance, temazcal and various other ceremonies. He is a kind and funny person with very long black hair and teeth shining every time he smiles, which is basically all the time.
It is Saturday morning and we are all meeting together at the forest borders. We are setting off. In only 15 minutes we are arriving to the ceremony site where the temazcal is already built for us. So close to the cilization, yet so clean and wild.
After setting up the camp we start preparing everything that is needed for the ceremony. Women are collecting herbs and cleaning up the area around the temazcal, men are bringing wood so that we can make a fire to heat up the stones for the ritual and then keep the fire burning for the whole night to greet the Sun in the morning next day.
When prepared, we are lighting the fire. The fire is now alive and the line between the fire and the temazcal cannot be crossed any more since that is where the energy of fire is flowing. The connection has been established.
We are starting to get ready for the ceremony itself. Women are going to the stream to connect with water since that is the female element. Men are making a circle as well, receiving some tobacco leach to put into the nose to connect with the element of fire and earth. Our Aztec friend is telling us about the male energy, that men are the first to lose strength when living in a big city, in the system. He is asking us to once again connect with our strength, with Padre Sol (Father Sun) and the energy of fire.
There are actually going to be two separate temazcal rituals. One for men, one for women. Male temazcal is taking place first while the Sun is still high since the Sun is associated with the male energy. Then, when we are finished, women are going to enter the temazcal at the twilight since the Moon is associated with the female energy. Also the male temazcal is shorter and more intensive while the female one is longer and more gradual.
So, we are undressing and entering the temazcal, the body of a turtle. Kids are going with us, they are allowed to join us for the first round.
The ritual is split into four parts, four gates according to the elements. Earth is the first element. The stones, the grandmas, which are now red and extremely hot, are brought inside. The entrance is closed and the ritual is starting. This is the first gate, the gate of earth and our ancestors.
We are all one by one saying our name and whatever comes up our minds to greet the spirits that are going to be helping us during the ritual. Our friend is pouring water onto the stones to heat up the space. He is picking up the drum and he is singing some very powerful and beautiful songs. His voice is strong.
I am rather calm, even though the space is really hot and it is rather difficult to breathe. I have to use my mouth because the air is too hot for my nose. My heartbeat is getting faster, much faster. But I am calm, just accepting the heat and enjoying it. This is not my first temazcal, so even though every ritual is different and unique, I know what to do. Or at least I am hoping I do. You must not lose your patience, you have to be calm and breathe steadily. The more you fight, the more devastated with heat and lack of oxygen you are. Easier said than done, though, because the heat is strong and there is no escape.
Finally, the first round is over. We call out to have the entrance opened. Kids are leaving, one round is more than enough for them. We are keeping the entrance opened to get some fresh air inside, but not for too long. The second gate is soon to begin.
We ask for the stones, for the grandmas, for the medicine. They are brought inside, one by one, and placed carefully into the center of the temazcal. Then entrance is shut. It is dark again. We are naked and dirty everywhere since the ground is very dusty and we are sweating like crazy.
The gate of water is starting.
I remember our friend splashing tons of water onto the stones and around. Then we were singing again. My memories of this gate are somehow cloudy to be honest, because the heat was becoming so strong and unbearable that I had to focus my will to stay reasonably calm. It is not the most pleasant experience you can go through, but none of us came for a pleasant experience, right?
The heat causes you hearbeat to raise, you cannot catch your breath, your head is spinning. You are wondering whether you are going to survive the next second, the next minute, perhaps even until the entrance is open again. But that is just so far. The power of heat and fire is devastating. You have actually no time for wondering. This is about bare survival.
I have been through some ceremonies already, so I am surprised to see myself panicking a bit. I have to go out. I cannot stay here. This is too much. After suffering for some time, I feel like it is better to die than to live in this agony. So I am letting go of all attachments, life included. And this is actually changing the situation. Physically I am hit hard by the heat, but I am at peace. And the gate is finally ending.
When the entrance is opened, I feel differently than before. It is like some other space and time. There is something deep and archetypal happening here. But my head is spinning crazily, I am just happy to be alive, lying on the ground, naked and totally dirty, but who cares really? We are all destroyed, just lying around the stones. It is all very physical, but also spiritual and deep.
The entrance is open for longer this time. This is the gate of wind after all. Even after the new stones are brought inside, the entrance is still open. We are all relaxing, licking our wounds, but happy. The wind is entering the temazcal, cleaning the space, taking away the old things that do not serve us any more. The gate of wind is the gate of death, the gate of acceptance. Finally the entrance is closed and we are singing again, casting new water onto the stones. But I am mostly just lying on the ground, relaxing, accepting, unable to do much.
The gate is over, one last gate and we can go out. It is the most intensive gate, though, the gate of fire.
I can barely remember what was happening there. I am taking it as yet another gate to survive. I am just present there. This really is the practice of acceptance. My consciousness is fading so I cannot stay connected to the elements as I would like to. The gate is short but the heat is immense. My skin is getting burned by all the vapour in the space around. I would like to sit, but the heat is just burning me so that I have to stay lying.
We are all screaming, to support ourselves, to support each other. The strength and courage is in the air.
The gate is over and we are one by one leaving the temazcal. We are naked and dirty, you would not recognize us.
We are told to go directly to the stream and connect with water. The stream is some 50 meters far. Our heads are spinning, we are trying hard not to fall down. We are all reaching the stream. I am finding a small pool there, full of rotting leaves. The water is crystal clear, though. I am entering the pool, checking for hidden stones. It is just like 30 cm deep, but that is enough. I am falling onto my back into the water and yielding to the moment. Fire inside, water around. The connection is beautiful. I am just staying in the cold water. I don't feel frozen or anything, I feel great. The water is hugging me.
I am leaving the pool and I am walking to the well to drink some fresh water. The path is full of super shart stones, but I am alive, so who cares?
We are all coming back, surrounding the fire and drying ourselves. Women are already prepared for their turn. Our friend is having a break, he needs some fresh air as well before entering the temazcal again.
Women are entering the temazcal. They are going to have fun now. We are just playing with kids and it is our turn to take care of the fire and bring them stones when requested.
Their turn is long, longer than ours, but not so intense. They are singing a lot. Seems like they are enjoying it a lot.
When they go out, they too look like a wild tribe. Their hair all messed up, they are totally dirty everywhere and naked as well. But nobody really cares to be naked when they are happy to be alive.
It is dark already so we are lending them our flashlights so they can go to wash themselves. Then we are all gathering around the fire.
The dinner is here after the whole day of fasting. The food is simple but tastes great. We are filling our stomachs. I am just stuffing my face not recognizing that it is already too much.
But the ceremony is by no means over. We are super tired, yes, but we are going to stay awake until the dawn and we are going to keep the fire burning the whole night so that the energy of the Sun and fire is still present when the Moon is high on the sky. Like that the two energies are both present at the same time.
The night is great. Only 5 of us are awake, the rest is sleeping. It is not too cold and we are all warmed up by the fire, which I am taking care of. We are singing songs, drumming, having some more tobacco leach in the nose to stay awake, making some tea as well.
When the dawn comes, we take the red ashes from under the burning wood and we make it into a burning heart. We each take a piece of copal, throw it onto the ashes and thank for the ceremony, for the medicine, for the guidance, for the experiece, for the transformation. We thank the spirits of the place. We are sharing the moment with all people, all beings. It is very strong, at that moment, when a new day is coming, but the night is not really gone yet. The fire is slowly burning out, but it is still alive. It is a moment of transformation when all the energies are intermixed. It is leaving us all speachless.
