While at work, just to give me some relaxation in the multiple files that I am working with either I am listening to songs or at times podcasts. This time I listened to Episode 23 Somebody You Used to Know: Safe Space, The Podcast as they talk about their experiences of having some good friends and then later on as they grow old some of them became total strangers.
I was able to relate to the episode as some of the friends that I do know before seemed they are not existing anymore. Sure, I can still recognize them if I see them in a crowded room full of people, but for all intents and purposes, they're a stranger—just like anyone else who's not part of my immediate family or closest circle of close friends. It's not that I don't care about them anymore; it's just that we got older and grew apart as we each developed our interests and personalities.
But what happens when you lose contact with someone after many years together? How long should you wait before giving up hope of reconnecting with an old flame? What do you do if there's no way to get back into contact with this person?
Simply they become a part of the memory, growing up together doesn't mean that you will grow old together.
Getting in touch nowadays is quite easy rather than in the old times. A simple Facebook search can give you a decent result from an old friend/acquaintance. I did that too as I try to re-connect with them but after searching their account what's next?
Thoughts keep running into my mind, but then again I did not take any action. They have their new life and I have my own maybe they wouldn't remember me anymore since it has been years of being away.
I honestly do not know, the way I think and act before is way different from who I am right now.
When they joined a fraternity for the sake of brotherhood I felt alone. I was the one who's not into such stuff and even though I am somehow a bastard kid that gets into trouble relying on such isn't my thing. Gang wars and riots by teens are pretty normal in our place back then and some need powerful folks to back them up. What can a wimpy kid do to protect, right?
I also realized that I am bad at reaching out, unless you send me a message first then I will not be sending one. Conversations aren't my main forte' but I can say at least hi and hello if needed. Or if I am looking/sharing gossip that you are involved with or something that you need to be notified the soonest.
Reconnecting with old pals is quite hard now, well technically I am not used to if I get a message of
Hi bro! How are you?
More often than not, when I get such a message out of nowhere someone will be asking for a favor or will request to lend them some money. It is okay for me if I have some funds available I wouldn't be able to count how many of my old friends asked for money without even returning at all. My hands cannot count and the amount ranges from two dollars up to sixty dollars.
I am bad with judgment
I cut ties, remove people, and trimmed one by one. I can only care that much and my energy is limited for interaction. Mostly, if there's no common interest anymore I do not talk. I mean commonality brings solidarity, if we are not doing anything together why stay?
If I benefit from them. It may sound selfish but this is the truth. When we are on the receiving side we tend to care for the giver, we check on them. But this isn't only in monetary value and benefit isn't something that can be seen as negative.
Benefiting from other people at times pushes you to be better. I have some friends that I keep because they inspire me to strive for what I am doing. They help me grow in the process and somehow I give back on what I can.
P.S. the podcast that I listened to is in our native language thus if you are planning to listen to it and you cannot understand Filipino just skip on the recommendation.
