One day at the mall, sipping on my bubble tea and people-watching, I observed a mother and her two small children, one a boy the other a girl, both very close in age. The little girl had taken her brother's hat and thrown it while the mother was waiting to pay for something in a nearby chocolate shoppe. Well, her brother was not having any of that - he proceeded to slap at, pull on and push down his little sister, who predictably cried to her Mom. The two got a stern glare and a "Stop that you two, this is a public place .. what did I tell you about public places!?"
No one, other than someone raised in a culture as my own, would raise an eyebrow at this .. which got me thinking. You see, in my culture boys are very clearly taught to respect girls, and they would never think to "man-handle" them - well, they could think it, but doing would meet with swift punishment. These boys grow to be young men who respect the females in their family above all, their female teachers, their girlfriends and eventually their wives - you will not hear men of good upbringing calling women "Bitch", at any time, anywhere and they certainly would not threaten them, or have negative physical contact with them.
I hear what you're thinking .. "BS!". I have to qualify what I am saying by agreeing with you .. of course in any culture there are those brutes who will do this, insult or beat their wives, their children, complete female strangers, and worse; they are very much the exception, and they know very well that they have crossed a line and should expect the wrath of God to fall upon them at any moment.
In North American & European culture, some children are raised not only with the thought that they are equal to the opposite sex but that the difference between the two is irrelevant. This in my view creates a malformed psyche - we are different for a reason, we are to have differing psychologies and to behave in differing ways in many circumstances - this is natural, healthy, and necessary.
There is a balance that needs to be struck, between teaching respect for women. as women, and teaching equality between the two genders. I understand that raising children in a gender-neutral manner does have benefits, in that children are not limited in discovering what interests them without stereotyping which creates boundaries to both their imagination and exploration, but to eliminate difference is to deny our place in the natural world.
The lack of respect for women, as women, taken to the extreme, where they are seen as less than complete individual human beings, with the same capability and potential as any other, man or women, sadly is reflected in statistics regarding violence against women world-wide. From a World Health Organization (WHO) report entitled "Global and regional estimates
of violence against women ..", as described in this National Post article, "North America has lowest rate of domestic violence against women, but worldwide one-third still suffer abuse". The actual number in North America is 23%, according to the study, and in Europe & Asia, 25%. I am from the Philippines, and the rate for our country is closer to 20%. (source: https://www.justice.gov/sites/default/files/eoir/legacy/2013/11/07/PHL103367.E.pdf).
The rate of domestic violence against women was highest in Africa, the Middle East and Southeast Asia, where 37% of women experienced physical or sexual violence from a partner at some point in their lifetime. The rate was 30% in Latin and South America and 23% in North America. In Europe and Asia, it was 25%.
We see in those parts of the world where "equality" is reflected in the law, so that women are afforded the protection of the law in those cases where they are targeted because they are women - or are in abusive situations where they have less power (at work or at home), or have less resources and have become trapped by their circumstances. But this does not mean that they are recognized as people who should be treated respectfully 'because' they are women, this is up to parents, educators, peers, to reinforce.
I think the downside of teaching gender equality and desiring children to become independent sooner than they should, is better reflected in the rate of divorce world-wide. The World's Most Divorced Nations lists the top 10 countries .. which are mostly European, and the United States of course.
Respect for women, "as women", in my humble opinion greatly benefits the family - it gives stability and makes for a far more peaceful society. Of course it is a two-way street, but if a man understands that women can be emotional at times, based on biological differences, then it should start and be maintained consistently by the man .. because when the man crosses the line it is eternally unforgivable. :)
