Good evening! It is midnight, as I usually have quiet time to myself around this hour in the day. I will like to save it for another post, but I finished a book of mine that I started called Andean Awakening by Jorge Luis Delgado. To say the least, it has really inspired me to love, forgive, and accept myself as I am and the pain that I've endured in my life. Thank you, Jorge, for your lovely writing that truly affected my heart in the most beautiful way. ❤️
Let's get on with the music part! The meat of this post I wanted to share. A heads up, some of it may not be related in sound, and I will only be sharing songs (although I recommend the entire albums for those who also like to listen to full albums). My music taste is a bit scattered but I hold a lot of appreciation for a skilled composition!
This might be my all-time favorite from Jeff Buckley's voice. His words are filled with raw emotion and sung with a dying passion that is unforgettable. The words linger in my mind after the tune ends and the instrumentation builds on the body's tug for one last hope. It flirts with hope, as it may just be all that's left... This verse has always stood out to me, as it is my secret serenade to myself when I feel that tug-of-war with my heart's desires. Well, not so secret anymore, I guess! Definitely a heartthrob!
"It's never over, my kingdom for a kiss upon her shoulder
It's never over, all my riches for her smiles when I slept so soft against her
It's never over, all my blood for the sweetness of her laughter
It's never over, she's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever"
This one I'm a little embarrassed to include since shortly after I heard this song (and greatly enjoy it!) is or was part of a cult's mind program. Rest assured, I am not affiliated with Children of God, nor do I support such a group... I just really enjoy the music and, well, the message. Personally, I also see that computers are advancing at an accelerating rate and will have more control of our future identities. I'm not a fan of that, but our fellow humans have bought into it and continue to buy into it. I don't shame anyone, it's just that I don't think the consequences were greatly considered until it is now too late. As wonderful as computers are, they can keep us connected from around the globe and even outer space instantaneously or within minutes, bringing them closer to humans with the sneaky ploys to replace the person right in front of you is pretty heartbreaking. I enjoy listening to the rest of this "program", but I have no intention on joining Children of God.
"What machine can heal a heart that's broken?
What machine can understand me?
What can I do when I am blue?
Send out a signal of love from me to you!"
I LOVE the Flaming Lips and this track is chill, but I have to admit it's pretty cheesy. My least favorite part is when the pitch increases, it's not the most pleasant to my ear, but the message is so simple and I finally receive it. I finally realize...that I have the most beautiful face (that I have for MY body) and happiness does in fact make me cry. This existence is so temporary, I don't want to waste it away thinking I am ugly because my past has made me believe that. Happiness makes me cry because authentic happiness is so beautiful, I wish everyone could have it. Why do so many of us choose to be unhappy, though? It is hard work after feeling so ugly, but it is really much easier to BE that beautiful happiness than it is to turn awaay from it. It's a lot more fun too. The innocence and child-like essence of this song gives me the realization that we're just a choice away from loving life and finding that reason to live life is life itself! :)
"Do you realize... That you have the most beautiful face?
Do you realize... We're floating in space?
Do you realize... That happiness makes you cry?
Do you realize... That everyone you know, someday, will die?"
The chorus is the hook, right? I have not heard Slowdive in quite some time but I revisited them and this song probably pierced a sharper edge into my heart. The intro is an acoustic guitar with a melancholy sound. Neil already sounds defeated too. I will try my best to explain... Sometimes when I hear sad songs from a man's point of view, I automatically imagine myself as the man but with my own interpretation of how he would feel. The sorrow in his voice sounds like his own suffering caused his partner or friend or love one to suffer. Thus, continuing the cycle of suffering. In this position, I tend to experience Stockholm's Syndrome and empathize with the hurt one who hurt another and less with the one who was at the bottom of the chain. When practicing empathy, I think it is okay but it is also important to know where to draw the line and not make excuses. My heart hurts knowing when you are in pain, but please don't hurt me.
"The world is full of noise, yeah
I hear it all the time
You know I am your dagger
You know I am your wound
I thought I heard you whisper
It happens all the time"
