Normally, I like clean lines and minimal design. Even when it comes to what I watch, I want structure and order in the visuals. Movies like Moulin Rouge frustrated me - and it wasn't just the singing. However, this doesn't mean that I am an orderly and structured person and perhaps, I am more like the picture below, which is one of my favorites from Croatia - waves smashing on rocks. I am not sure which part I am though, because sometimes I feel like the wave, sometimes the rocks and sometimes, the white froth that has no control over anything.

The picture reminds me of an abstract painting I would like on my wall.

I just don't have the skill to paint it.

Talent yes, but it is highly underdeveloped talent and has atrophied heavily in recent years. Talent is what a person is born with, but it is something that can't reach its full potential without consistent growth work. Skills on the other hand can be developed with practice, even if talent doesn't exist. Most of us are born with a range of talents that are often correlated to those of our parents, yet when it comes to some facets, we tend to largely ignore what we have, or what we don't.

Often, we rely on our talents in an area to get us through, without doubling down to improve them and also often, we avoid our skill gaps, choosing not to develop them, using the excuse that we don't have the talent for it or, it is not in our nature. The last one I hear a lot in terms of emotional behaviors, where people use the excuse that they are tempestuous by nature, so they don't have to learn how to control their emotions.

It is a cop-out.

I also think a lot of the reasons we don't develop our skill gaps is because we don't have the emotional control to improve in areas that make us uncomfortable, or disinterest us, even if it is in our best interest to improve. For instance, most jobs require a range of skills and to do a "perfect" job, all required skills would need to be perfect, which is impossible.

However, all of the required skills need to be at a passing grade level at least, with some being more so in order to create a competitive advantage and a focus area. However, failing to improve in some skill area can be fatal for a career, especially because the range of skills needed are dynamic, as are the levels required for a passing grade.

I wonder if we were to compare the skills required by us, our parents and our grandparents, what would it look like laid over one another. From the perspective of technical skills, it might be that a lot of the physical technical requirements of our grandparents have been eroded away, replaced by digital technical skills. It could also be that our abilities with numbers has changed in some way too, but we rely more on tools now instead of doing it in our heads.

But, what about our emotional skills?

Is there ever a time where we don't want to have good emotional skills and would we benefit if we could outsource them to tools instead? What if there was a smart watch that regulated how you felt about your experience, would you want that?

It is an interesting question, because I think that most wouldn't want to have their feelings altered without them knowing, but that is happening through our experience anyway. We are "triggered" by our consumption and through conditioning, our response to stimulus is quite predictable. This is why advertising and clickbait headlines work. If we were fully conscious of the influence, knowing that we were being manipulated, they would be far less effective.

Is it a skill?

I think emotional control is a skill, though I also respect that talent plays a role in this too. Some people are just born with a better baseline and ability to improve than others. Since I suffered a stroke, I have become more aware of just how much talent and unconscious automation can play a role in our outcomes, as daily I feel the affect of lost talents and decreased ability to improve. It weighs on me, but I wonder if someone who had less skill in these areas than myself, would be aware of the deficiency, or if because that is their normal, it doesn't feel deficient at all.

As said, sometimes I am the rock, sometimes the wave, sometimes the foam, but currently, I have less control over which I am going to be, with less ability to choose given the situation. It is not a freeing experience, it is an oppressive experience, feeling forced into a behavior that I wouldn't have chosen for myself a couple years ago. Impatience where the rock would have stood, frozen when I would have been the wave, foaming and bubbling, when I would once have been clear and concise.

It is scary.

However, I try to mitigate the fear by being interested in it instead. I might not be able to control myself as well, but I can try to direct my attention and observe the conditions, responses and possibly identify places where I might have a chance to capture the moment before I act, and improve my behavior. It is filled with a lot of failure in hindsight, but even recognizing that is somewhat of a success.

I used to know my structure. I used to be able to understand who I was and accurately predict how I would respond in different situations. Now, I am like that abstract painting, not clearly knowing what it is, but trying to form it into a shape that makes sense - even though the truth of me may never be known.

All waves end. All rocks are crashed to sand. All foam dissipates.

Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]