In perpetual motion…
A new year, a new beginning. I'm cheating a little bit, that's true. I entered the curve of this long curve in the year 2017. A few months later, I find it difficult to feel the positive effects of this change.
January 2018, I'm shooting. One might think that I like this curve, when in fact I'm already starting to feel an unpleasant feeling of turning. I still remain firmly attached to the rails, the only ones able to hold me in a semblance of direction to avoid that I end up in the decor.
If I look at the distance travelled so far today, it seems I've always preferred bends over straight lines. Probably my daredevil side.
When I was a kid, I found myself more often perched on top of trees than hiding behind the living room console. On the risk side, there is no photo.
It was relatively easy, there were no consoles at home, or even TV sets. An education far from the screens was still possible at the time, even if we looked like little green men. Thank you, Mom and Dad!
Entry into high school was decisive. That's when I started to get a taste for anything that didn't go straight. Oh, that's for sure, I was going to be a hell of a pilot. I got my driver's license at the first glance! History was a little less glorious on the side of the baccalaureate, then studies later...
After high school, I was going to be king of the curve.... out of control! I was more the kind of pilot who would go head to tail on the slightest attempt rather than the one who crossed the finish line at the high point. But at least I had the merit of trying. Anyone who doesn't try anything has nothing.
I don't really know why I stubbornly joined a +3 behind my Bac. But after many years of hard work, I succeeded. I became a graduate myself, without really having a clear idea of where it would lead me.
There was perhaps this timid desire to exist in a society that still today does not allow everyone to realize their dreams. External pressures too. These voices that reach us and keep repeating over and over again that the more diplomas we have, the more we will increase our chances of success in our careers. Sad reality, long live France, long live bullshit jobs.
I'm not going to go over the last twenty years of my life, it would be slightly boring. Still, they have been a succession of bends with more or less controlled exits, and of course some inevitable crashes. All the classic stuff in the end.
It seems that this is how you learn, grow and realize yourself. Personally, I'm still in the scriptwriting stage. I have pieces of stories in mind, but not really a common thread. As for the main characters who will accompany me in my quest, I already know a few, but there are still some missing, and not the least.
In recent years, I haven't really changed my way of doing things. Maybe that's the problem. Curves, curves and more curves. I can't figure out where I'm going.
I had however imagined that I would go a little bit straighter when I was in my thirties. I saw my life as a long, quiet river, with wife and children. Basic, simple, simple, simple, basic as Orelsan would say. Apparently, life decided otherwise. Yes, it's easier to blame everything on her for life!
Anne-Laure is probably right, maybe we just have to be there and wait. Do not strive to seek meaning in everything that has been and is. Remain open to what might eventually come up without necessarily looking in a new direction.
The problem is that we live in a world where inactivity, in the sense of absence from work for pay, can quickly lead to a very uncomfortable and even unbearable situation. The supremacy of doing, not being.
So today I'm shooting. I'm trying to use the last curve I took to find the momentum for my future achievement, which I hope not too far away. And in the meantime, I'm working on the script. That's how we create beautiful stories...
