Well, we can't blame the school system entirely. According to attendance records, not one teacher ever saw Coffee Sasquatch in class.... "Sasquatch....? Sasquatch....?" "HURRR!!!"

Virgins are a hot commodity! Whether you are sacrificing them to a Kraken, a Dragon, or a vampire lord...

We are superheroes! We punch things! For justice!

Coffee Sasquatch only appeared in one single Java strip at the end of the first coffee war. And in that scene they tricked him into looking like Chewbacca for a photo op... Way back in Java #61:

I asked AI how many parrots it would take to carry a man across a river. Estimate 100-300, also they would all have to flap in unison.

It could be Chuck Norris! He's appeared in the comic! (RIP)

That's okay, what happens on Mystery Island stays on Mystery Island!

I have now. I wonder if there are any Lolo Ferrari dolls available on eBay?

With that gait he can easily hurdle a gate! We are playing the homonym game, right?

It is okay to laugh at the illiterate. Well, it's okay to laugh at them in text format so that they don't know you are laughing at them.

I think that works. "Eat the rich (dragons)!"

These have more warnings than my anti-psychotic meds!

And Kickman better hope the final fight is in that throne room so that he has access to his greatest weapon.

There was a line from that movie where Idris Alba plays a genie, something like "In every story involving wishes it is always a cautionary tale." Entire movie was pretty boring but that line

Are you a bot?

What's the name of his band? Coldplay... badum-tish! !LOLZ

He's a comic book doctor, do some sci-fi medicine stuff!

It is just an extremely thorough massage.

I've been abducted!