My uncle died.
It was sudden and shocked the shit out of me. He was supposed to live for a very long time. You know he was one of those guys who would sit outside in winter wearing a t-shirt and laughing at your chattering teeth. He had a very firm idea about the world, the right and wrongs of it and enjoyed sticking it to you. Showing of his encyclopedic knowledge making sure to let you know how superior he was to you.
So yeah you guessed it, he was a class “A” asshole but he was also kind and big on family values. He made a mean salsa and could fix anything. He loved computers with a passion and he enjoyed the mountains and snow.
He just had a very hard time sharing himself in a way that would not spring the urge in you to strangle him with your bare hands.
Now he is gone. He leaves an apartment filled with things that meant a great deal to him and a dozen projects that will never be complete. None of it matters though since nobody will be able to make the connection. There is no wife no kids not even a dog left behind.
The neighbors called because the music kept blaring for three days and nights straight. And there he was all blue. Bleed out inside. An anorism. It probably was quick and there is some comfort in that.
This is how it goes. In some way or another it is how it goes for all of us. We live with passion or not and we have believes and values and are convinced of a million things and then we take our last breath and turn into a pile of meat with dead eyes and a rotting carcass.
A very limited number of us leaves something behind that is significant enough that people will remember them but let’s face it for most of us that is not the case. All our priced possessions are just junk to anybody else, all our goals don’t mean shit and all that is left is a mess that needs cleaning while the world keeps turning.
I am not religious or spiritual, but this heart-breaking event hammered it home for me.
Fuck tomorrow for it might never come.
Let go of yesterday for it has passed.
Breathe in the present for that is all you got! It’s all you are.
Dla Lela – kocham cie wujciu.
