We all know by now that dating and relationships are not all sunshine and rainbows, but like anything else worthwhile they require hard work. If you’re far away from your lover, learn how to deal with a long distance relationship and make it last. Here are the 15 tips to help you on the journey of relationship.
- Set alarms: Whether you and your long distance partner are in varying time zones or not, it is always smart to set an alarm for their schedule. I am not saying to set an alarm for when they go to work, have lunch, and go to yoga. But if they wake up at 4 am your time, wake up and send them a good morning text and go back to bed.
Showing that you are thinking about them even by setting an alarm and sending a text is a lot when you are dealing with a long distance relationship.
- Plan virtual dates: Clearly being long distance means you won’t be seeing your partner in person multiple times a week as a nearby couple would. So, plan virtual Skype or FaceTime dates and stick to them. If you video chat every Monday and Wednesday, don’t cancel.
This is your partner. Whether they are with you physically or not doesn’t change that fact. Put that effort in and live up to your word. And try not to just sit in bed talking about your day or catching up but make it a date.
- Plan real dates: When you do see each other whether it is on the weekends or once every other month, make plans. Don’t just wing it. You want to get the most out of your time together. So do what you love the most.
Of course, you will want private and intimate time, but plan dates, outings, or activities like you would if you lived near one another. Explore each other’s cities and see where you may end up potentially.
- Talk every day: Missing just one day of communication can throw a long distance relationship off. Long distance relationships are already at risk for a lot of hurdles, but missing out on your daily check-ins just to say “I love you” or goodnight can mean a lot more than you might think.
If you have time to have coffee, go to the bathroom, or watch a cat video on Facebook, you can text or call your partner. Even leaving them a voicemail saying you miss them and won’t have much time to talk today is a sign you are thinking about them.
- Make the most of the time you have together. As I said about planning dates, make the time you spend together count: Now, I don’t mean put a ton of pressure on yourselves to make that time perfect. That is unrealistic.
I know in a long distance relationship you look forward to your rare time together and put a lot of effort into it. Remember this is also your time to have serious talks about your future plans.
- Don’t fight via text: All couples fight. Those who live together and those who are across the world from each other all have fights. But, when texting is your main form of communication, misunderstandings are a lot more likely to occur.
If you are upset about something, text your partner that you want to have a video chat later that night. Then, discuss whatever the problem is face to face.
- Use all the technology available: The world has changed a lot in the last 10 years. With all the technology available, long distance doesn’t even have to feel that way. Not only should you use video chats and texting as a way to stay in touch, but look at all the other things you have. You can control each other’s lights from your phones. You can send your heartbeat via an iPad. You can send videos and photos of funny things you see at the store or at work.
- Send gifts: Now, you know how to use all the modern technologies to make sure your long distance relationship is strong but bring it back to snail mail. Send each other handwritten letters. Send care packages of their favorite treats or a pillowcase with your perfume on it.
- Leave notes: When you visit, leave love notes around the house for them. Pop one in their fridge, in their medicine cabinet, and in their wallet or work bag. You can start with places they will find your note right after you leave and end with places they may not open for a few weeks.
- Live in the moment: Although long distance relationships only tend to work out when there is a plan for the future, remember to live in the moment. If you are only ever thinking about when they move or you move, you will not actually enjoy each other.
- Be reliable: If you and your partner have a phone call every night at 9 pm, keep it. If you are running late let them know. Keeping your partner waiting for your daily call or chat is not only disappointing to them, but disrespectful to your agreement.
- Be available: You are probably in a long distance relationship because one or both of you has an important job or life change that takes up a lot of time. That is fair. Your partner should support you in that.
- Be thoughtful: This is key when it comes to understanding how to deal with a long distance relationship and still thrive. In person, you can touch your partner’s back, smile at them, or cuddle. All these things show you love them and are thinking about them. But they come naturally when you are in close proximity.
- Look at the benefits: I know, I sound so cheesy. Just give me a minute to explain. Couples that spend all their time together not only build up tension but can even get sick of each other.
- Communicate voice to voice: I feel like a broken record, but this is so important. I know it is so easy to just text all day when you have a free second. You can say one thing and put your phone away. But actually hearing someone’s voice is so much more meaningful.
Looking at each other face to face, even virtually, and hearing each other’s voice is such a better way to communicate than with words on a screen.
Sure it is nice for a cute message throughout the day, but for any substantial conversations avoid texting. Trust me, you will see a difference in your connection, even overseas.
