I love how you precede the emotional with the rational, scientific, medical calmness that one must hold onto when ones husband is under the knife. It is quite miraculous what contemporary medicine can do, and how darn professional they are when they deal with anxious wives in waiting rooms.

When Dad was so terribly ill it was the doctors and nurses who we admired for their incredible skill and care. I do feel uncomfortable when people start bemoaning modern medicine when it can do what it does. Miracle workers.

I'm glad he's off playing poker. This can't be easy on either of you, but sounds like you take it on balance. What else can one do? Life is not ever perfect - you'd be suspicious if it was - but as you say, it's a good life, and that's what one holds onto - the goal, as it were.