Arguing badly has become an art thanks to the internet. Here are some simple examples that will help anyone become a master at highjacking a comment thread. Your logical inconsistencies, misdirections, and badly thought out conclusions will become masterpieces of bullshit. Your mastery of the argument will mesmerize and shut down people that you disagree with.
You can start out your leading sentence with this beauty. ”This is what I think, please don’t hit me,” kind of statement. You will look cute, like a submissive dog with its tail between its legs but really you are gonna bite the hand that is reaching out to you. This is most of effective when coupled with an opinion that is really popular and everyone agrees as if it’s a fact. We all want to be healthy and safe.
Trying to say what you stated earlier and making it look better. Spinning your statement is super easy, just like a kid plays with a Fidget Spinner. All of us that have kids know this tactic. You here the refrigerator door open in the middle of the night. You get up and find your kid standing in the kitchen with that look on their face. You ask your kid if they were in the ice-cream. The kid hides the carton of ice-cream behind their back and denies getting into the fridge. Someone calls you out on a bad argument, just pretend you are stating something totally different. This is a lovely form of gas lighting and drives sane people crazy and they will forget all about the horrible argument you just presented.
This little trick is like a personal opinion but it’s sneaky, because it is usually coupled with something that sounds like a fact but it isn’t. There are no facts to be found! This really isn’t my personal opinion, but it really is, kinda like a turd covered with gold is still a turd.
This is when you attack someone on a personal level, usually followed by a remark that has nothing to do with the argument. You are stating this because you beat your dog.
This should be done during the beginning of the argument. Most people use this tactic because they have never had any experience when arguing with someone on the net or they are really dumb. This gives away the fact you don’t know what you are talking about and you might be a troll. Anyway this is just embarrassing and sloppy.
This shows you really know what you are talking about and everyone else does not. You opponent is an idiot because your point is so easily understood. This is best used when your point is unorganized or just wrong.
One sentence statements that can stink up a debate quickly. Usually you can write an article with these statements if needed. "You really should worry about getting rid of guns on the street or help feed the starving people in this world." My favorite distraction was when I was arguing with a vegan and they told me to stop eating beef because cows fart so much your meat eating will cause the world to overheat. I actually had someone say that to me and I couldn't continue arguing because I was laughing so hard. Personally I think how the dinosaurs died out all the sudden because they farted too much! This can be used when discussing a topic that’s getting too serious and says," let us experts worry about this," The point is, you really shouldn’t have to worry about anything at all because the experts will deal with it.
Why don’t you leave America, don’t read my blog, don’t buy it. Heck if you can’t see it, it does not exist! This sounds reasonable and you can apply it to any argument or situation to shut someone down.
This is a lovely personal attack type ad hominem. It’s almost effortless to make, no critical thinking involved. Don’t overthink this one or your trolling will look obvious. This statement can be true when you actually give a valid example. So don’t explain why the person is arguing from emotion or even better point out something that looks emotional but is actually a valid point. We all know when someone is emotional they cannot think logically at all.
When all else fails this one works every time. You attack someone’s feelings, views, thoughts as if you know what they are thinking. To argue in good faith everyone understands that the others are arguing with good intentions and they aren’t arguing just to argue. But really you are clogging up your opponents comment stream as a distraction tactic. Stating your opponent has an agenda other than the argument means you don’t have to do any work with facts to back up your own statements.
Now it’s time to practice, go for it! No need to be PC because after practicing all of this on Steemit, everyone will know you are a jerk.
