It surely happened to you at least several times that your girlfriend or wife suddenly became irritated, prissy or angry. And you had absolutely no idea why. Or she started to blame you for something you didn't do or something you forgot (perhaps you forgot to buy that butter or fix that broken shelf). You didn't want ot argue, so you forced yourself, got up and did it. And your girlfriend or wife was still angry or irritated. Or she just wasn't relaxed and contented as you both expected. You was confused and she was depressed. Why so?
She propably doesn't completele know why is she inside herself still angry at you, albeit she doesn't quite show it. The problem is that you can't ask her for some explanation or justification. Men and women are simply different in many ways. Off course, there are some exceptions like homosexuals or lesbians or people who feel and consider themselves as the opposite gender then they bodily are. Yes, but exception proves the rule, right? If you look at homosexual or lesbian couples, you will see that in the most of their relationships there is one who is more like a „man“ and the other one who is more like a „woman“. Plainly and simply one functions as a man and one as a woman. We can call it for instance the polarity of partnership roles in relationship. As a man we are characterized with rational attitude and approach. We want to analyze some problem and solve it logically. We also focus more on our goals and we are more looking for freedom (whether it is a beer with friends, mountain climbing or pathological dodging of serious relationship). However, you just can't approach to a woman with rationality, logic and freedom. A woman is mostly an emotional being. Emotions literally flows through her with every move of her body. A woman speaks the language of emotions. Here is every logical thinking useless and pointless. That is why even she can't expleain to you why she feels exactly that way how she feels right now. And while a man seeks for some kind of manifestation of freedom, a woman seeks for love. She wants to be loved and she wants to feel and experience your love.
So why that thing that you didn't fix that shelf or buy that butter makes her so angry or upset? An why is she so sullen even after I finally did it?
A woman wants to feel your inner integrity and adherence to principles. She wants to feel that you will do what you say you will do. That your words have some value. That you are able to get up by yourself and do the thing do said do will do. Without her spurring and constantly reminding you. Why? Because that's exactly how mother have to spur and remind their children to make their homework. But your girlfriend or wife doesn't want some immature boy, she wants a grown man.She doesn't want to be a mother to you and constantly spur you. She wants to know that you are reliable and dependable. That you can make things happen by yourself. If we consider it in a higher level, she want a man who knows what he wants and who acts according to that inner knowledge. A man who takes responsibility for his own life. Then she can really relax. The tension and stress will leave her. So there si no particular problem, but it is a problem of your general attitude.
You can the this emotional swinging of you girlfriend or wife as some kind of indicator of your inner male integrity. And above all, because a woman is an emotional being, you should be the cause and evoke primarily positive kind of emotions. And you also should give her your love, because emotions and love are the basic foundations for womens life. Don't use reason and logical thinking when it comes to a woman. This is literally a trap which many men fall into.
So, about summarization: not always it is easy with women. You just can't understand them at all. But on the other hand it is not easy with men at all. We are simply different and those differences drive us crazy and attract to each other as well. You can take it as a curse or as a challenge. This choise is absolutely yours.
(note: my inspiration for this post was a book by David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man. But the text of this post is originally my own. I worked just with few thoughts from this book which I grasp with my own experiences and opinions. This post is also an english translation of my former post I posted in czech language, but it is all my original and authentical work)
Picture:
Upset woman
@polemistes