The most universal challenge that we face is the transition from seeing our human institutions as machines to seeing them as embodiments of nature. — Peter Senge
As the year ends, it is inevitable that we begin to look back and appreciate how far we have gone in life.
I personally get sidetracked by pessimism and often forget about being grateful for what I have now. Sometimes, a slap in the face can awaken us, again.
When I turned 15 years old, I started writing periodic journals and on the best streaks, I go write daily. No, it's not a dear-diary kind of thing. It is mostly a planner, because I'm a bit overbearing even to myself.
That time, I wrote that I'd work in the industry for five years then go back home to become a businessman and a farmer. I forgot that dream, several times.
Recently, I pulled my big box of memorabilia from the dusty storage for a little spring cleaning. I was just controlling myself because I can go overboard with hoarding, so I usually stick to keeping old notebooks and a few mementos, though I do have some old gadgets, pet rocks, empty pens, and old receipts.
As I did my re-sorting process, I stumbled into a piece of paper stamped with a date and my signature. Yes, another journal from my old self. I usually write like I was talking to my future self, because it makes me feel accountable for the decisions I did and also humbling myself to the criticism that my future self would have when reading my journals.
That was my mid-journey in the city as a tech guy. I had a promising life and I was always promoted each year—but deep inside me, I always felt so alien with the society I was in. I didn't feel that I belonged and was always dreaming of going home and finally becoming a farmer. In that sorrowful journal, list down all the crops and vegetables that I would grow. It just made me laugh upon reading what my younger self was whining about!
How weird, how ungrateful I am now. Blindedly, I am in a reverse situation. I was whining that although I am in an almost two year journey as a farmer, it did seem that I am feeling unhappy for having no opportunities to go back in the industry, LOL!
Crazy, right?
I am living the dream, how selfish to have forgotten all of my dreams and prayers.
This slap in the face can be really helpful to wake up to reality. We forget that whatever circumstances we have in the present, it is not our role to comprehend it. Why?
Because whatever we lose or receive has a purpose.
A greater purpose.
Back in the city, I was financially and holistically reckless. I spend too much and eat too much. So, I prayed for a healthy diet, a slow life, and a sustainable life. I dreamed of waking up without an alarm and spending a highly productive day. I wanted the simple things, and right now, I have everything I asked for, for real!
With this wake up call, I immediately felt grateful and happier. I have no job, no salary, penniless, but look, I need no alarms!
No, this isn't a hate message for a career-oriented life, as this is my career shift, too—a shift to become a steward of the Earth! A full time job as a farmer.
I wake up with the sun and sleep when I feel like it. Each day, I could run into the mountain and be free together with nature. I could run to the hilltop and shout that I am home.
The fresh countryside air, I prayed for that as I had weak lungs and was always sick in the city.
The almost plant-based diet, I dream for it as I feel like being a goat, happily eating greens in this beautiful pasture of life. Yes, I always compare myself to a goat before, LMAO!
For a year and a half of building a food forest, it is now manifesting abundance.
Free food, safe food.
It is incomparable to the select products in the supermarket, but hey, no one gives free stuff so easily now.
Building thw food forest and the permaculture garden was not an easy task. There were days that I was ready to give up due to sadness and exhaustion, but where would I go when I was already rejected from the places I go to?
Using the strong emotions inside be, I turned it into an energy to strive better, keeping myself motivated to trailblaze a sustainable path for myself.
For the past months, I no longer have grudges or hate.
I am living in a God-given life, my prayers were heard and my dreams were served. The painful process was part of it, as the transition was meant to fortify my will and to strenghthen my core. So when I receive the gifts of live, I am deemed worthy.
All the people and events, be it negative or positive, are just some instruments to the transitions and growth. Life is full of surprises, but always be grateful no matter how hard things might be.
If you have reached the end of this story, I hope you, too, can believe in yourself. No matter how different your dreams are, someday it will become true, too!
Just keep dreaming, praying, and believing, because someday, someday it will all happen.
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2022-11-28 3PM Partly Cloudy 27°C / 84% H W 12 km/h NNE P 45% 0mm UVi 4
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About Me
@oniemaniego is a software developer, but outside work, he experiments in the kitchen, writes poetry and fiction, paints his heart out, or toils under the hot sun.
 | Onie Maniego / Loy Bukid was born in rural Leyte. He often visits his family orchards during the summers and weekends, which greatly influenced his works. |
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