There are certain places I have been that, when I visit them, I feel something different, something I may not have felt in years, perhaps for as long as I have been there last. Not all of these places are physical. There are also times in my life that, when I think about the person I was and the things that I had in my life that now shape my experiences, I feel something different when I experience something nostalgic from that time.
When times seem gloomy, because it does feel that way even to the best of us sometimes, one just feels or experiences something from a place or time way different from the present by either being there again or reliving a memory or something. It has happened to me across different parts of my memory, resurfacing at times.
Songs like those of Big Time Rush (BTR), Victorious, Rags, and many other Nickelodeon shows I was always engrossed in watching as a kid, as well as snippets of films and cartoon shows I loved then, take me back to times from way back in my childhood when my passions and aspirations began to form and also times when things were much simpler and less complex, like now.
I sat one time, listening to many of the songs I loved as a child, and I realised just how and when I began to love music and the influences that led me down the road of wanting to learn and play music someday. Some other cartoon shows that I used to watch then, seeing a few kids watch them now, or perhaps talking about them with people that loved them as kids, remind me of a time when I didn't worry as much as I do now.
The earliest memories I have are from the first home I ever remember living in. The closest companion I had then was my brother. And then I was a pretty free-spirited kid. I didn't hold back as much as I do now. I didn't care much about what others thought of me. I didn't overthink things. I was just Jay, but little, young, and free. And when I visited that place, where I once called home since we moved at one point, some memories came back strongly as I passed through the places I had fun as a child, remembering the silly things I did as well as my inventive endeavours.
End of Beginning, a song in the background of a TikTok video a loved one sent to me, grasped my attention strongly. The part of the lyrics I found was intriguing, and the sounds I heard from the instruments drew me in. In no time, I found it, and I have had it on repeat several times ever since. In short, the song evokes certain emotions in me.
The lyrics at almost every point of the song say something powerful. The strongest parts of the song remind me of all that I have mentioned so far.
And when I'm back in Chicago,I feel it
Another version of me, I was in it
I wave goodbye to the end of beginning
You take the man out of the city, not the city out the man
Reminds me of how different I feel when I travel back to those places or times. And that there are certain experiences and environments that are intertwined with our identity that, even when we are removed from such familiar places, still remain a part of us.
Thumbnail image is the song cover art
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