Okay then, I'm down with feedback now that I know the Whore of Babylon isn't involved, or at least clearly not involved with my feedback. Here. Right. Now.

A trifle heavy on the adjectives.

Men are notoriously easy to read

This inspired this for Lacy.

Overall, well written, defintely pulled in my attention (but I'm no paid pro writer). Looks like your bending towards writing in a fiction style to tell your story.