How many parents believe that beating up children when they do wrong things is the right practice, or being harsh with them or shouting at them is the right way to make them learn?
I personally never believe in all these sorts of punishments and I feel that children are so delicate and parents should handle them in that manner. That does not mean giving into their demands and not taking any action. But beating, shouting, harsh punishments make them further rebellious and sometimes they can even turn against parents. If parents keep doing this regularly, children will start back answering them. Not only that these are also some childhood traumas that a child can get fixed up with.
Not all children are same, some are strong and some are very sensitive. My sister has 2 boys and she has been very tough with them. The elder one was very mischievous as a child and my sister tolerance level is very low. If the little one does any prank he gets beaten up by my sister and I would see that the little one gets more aggressive as if he too wants to get back at her. I always tell my sister why don't you sit with him and explain to him calmly when he is on a prank and she says no he is very thick skinned he does not understand calm advice.
And many parents feel that for their children, but I somehow feel that's not right. Somehow parents are responsible for that. In the beginning they do not stop them, they encourage them because it may look fun in the beginning their tricks and play but then as it starts growing they realize it is not right and then they feel that showing the parental power is the only way to improve them.
My Son when he was small, he was a very soft child, If ever I would shout at him also he would have tears in his eyes and if he would cry I would also cry, such was the case and my sisters would make fun of my parenting style. Yes, may be I was too soft, but then I felt that was the right way for my Son, if I would have been hard on him he would have taken it very negatively because he was a very emotional child, so I had to nurture him with care.
If he would do something wrong, I would sit and explain to him and make him understand the difference. Today as all the kids in our family have grown up, I see the difference between him and his other cousins. He shares with me everything even that now he is 25 he has a strong bond with me, whereas I see my sister's children do not wish to share their lives with their parents. They think that now since they have grown up their parents have no power over them.
As a child I have faced these issues, my father had a very bad temperament and that same passes on to my sister as well. I had many issues facing him in many moments, he would shout, scream and I would keep withdrawing from him. I would keep crying in loneliness for his this behavior, I had many stuck traumas because of this and it took me a long time in life to get over them.
I have always observed that parents who are very hard to their children, in return the children become very aggressive and they want to keep doing things more and more to annoy their parents. Being stern with children by not giving into their demands is one thing and beating them up is another part which I never believe in. I believe in the first one, where parents need to make firm stands with children.
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