Enough With Your Smelly Walls and Booming Walls
Dear Bob,
I have always felt relieved living near to you. You are the most moist neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your inconsiderate dog.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your walls is too smelly and your walls way too booming. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hedge trimmer
I have to insist that you take action to stop your inconsiderate dog from upsetting me. I demand that you invest in better sound-proofing then trim the lawn.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your inconsiderate dog increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Rose Close.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your inconsiderate dog on Tumblr.
Furthermore, I have close ties with the mob and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
memeon