It was kids' party time, my favourite thing on a sleepy Sunday.
Can you spot the lie in the above sentence?
Today however was not the usual soul-crushing despair type of kids' party. It wasn't being held in a softplay for a start.
This one was to be a pool party and it was an hour's drive away up North. Since Scotland is the size of a Welsh Welder's thumb, we would be practically at the top of it, deep in the Highlands.
It was with great excitement we headed off. The sun was shining bright in the sky and the temperature threatened to get up to 8 degrees today. Indeed these were the best of times.
We arrived.
The parents, myself included, bustled around getting the kids out of cars and into the swimming pool.
Soon they were in and shrieky splashing echoed boomed around the pool area.
A hot chick dressed as a lifeguard came over, she looked about five foot ten and had a suntan. I instantly knew she couldn't be Scottish.
Theyas a breakout chill room to the side with coffee and fresh fruit if you guys want to take a break until the party is ovah?
Her voice pegged her as South African or Australian. Maybe Jamaican or Portuguese. She was definitely from somewhere.
Oh cool.
The few of us parents that had decided to stay headed into the chillout room.
There were four of us. Two dudes, Myself, Raffles and two ladies - Salty-Pooch and Shrillery.
The seating area was just a bunch of giant bean bags with a coffee machine to the side.
Wisely I nodded to myself. I pretty much knew how this would go. We would flounder around on the bean bags before one thing led to another and we were all over each other's nooks and crannies.
Being a parent is hard sometimes.
Hopefully, we would get finished up and wet wiped down before the kids' party was over.
Shrillery pulled her rucksack off and slid a laptop out from it.
Good opportunity to get some work done.
She smiled and settled herself down in a corner, pecking away at her keyboard.
Raffles nodded approvingly.
Great idea. I have a wee bit of work to catch up on myself.
He somehow magicked a laptop out from somewhere and found another corner to tap away in.
What the actual fuck? Were these people for real? It was Sunday. We were up North, surely to fuck we weren't all going to do work?!?!
I looked at Salty-Pooch who smiled wickedly.
No use wasting an opportunity like this!
She grinned.
I chuckled, getting ready to flick the quick release on my trousers. Sexy Party time coming right up. Although, it was always a bit more awkward having the sexy party when people were working nearby but hey ho.
Salty-Pooch pulled a phone out of her pocket and unfolded it into a mini tablet.
I love this phone, it means I can work anywhere.
She chortled before settling down on yet another beanbag and started swiping and prodding at her screen.
What the bloody fuck?
How could this be? How could they all blithely just want to work in their spare time? Did no one want a shot of my boaby? Or at least a chat over a coffee?
Deflated, I slumped down on a beanbag and pulled out my phone.
There was no way I was gonna fucking work on a Sunday. No. Fucking. Way.
The batvote signal dinged from Discord. It was an alert over a spammy bunch of bastards abusing the DTube autovote.
@azircon/i-do-not-support-dtube-videos
I settled down in my beanbag with a happy sigh.
Looks like there was work to do after all!
