This has been the question laying heavily in the hearts of some persons-They want to be likeable by people.
Personally, I’ve been in that spot before. Although mine wasn’t really about wanting to be liked by people—it was somewhat at the other end of the rope: being hated by people.
If I wasn’t loved by people, that wouldn’t have been a problem—so long as I wasn’t hated either.
But more often than not, there just seemed to be things that would trigger the dislike (maybe “hate” is a strong word!).
And when such times came, I was always reminded of that popular show, Everybody Hates Chris. In fact, I could relate with Chris in the movie.
But the truth is...
Trying to be more ‘likable’ and ‘attractive’ is the fastest way to seem like “too much.” I used to do that before. And anytime I “failed to be loved,” I got depressed.
I failed to understand that being loved—in as much as it depends on my vibes—also has little to do with me and more with the other party. Not me, but they choose what or who to love.
Believe me, when you try to be likable, one way or another, it will show. 😄
And people can sense the desperation, which pushes them away.
If you want the opposite effect—not being “too much” but instead attracting people who are a better fit for you—the way forward is to be yourself.
And if you don’t know who you are, I recommend doing the inner work to find out who you are or who you want to be 🥰
Honestly, when you’re constantly performing—wanting to overshare, interrupt, or trying too hard to be funny—instead of just being-retracing your steps and not being too forward, letting things flow in their own accord-you’ll end up becoming very irritable.
The biggest shift I made was learning to listen more and give people space to breathe in conversations and interactions.