Stick Your Stupid and Useful Job, Mister Big
Dear Mister Big,
I have some news, which I think you will find naughty.
Over the last two weeks, I have found working for Local Heath Plus both stupid and useful.
It's fair to say that my assistant is dyed and the secretaries are smooth, but this has not stopped me from finding the work stupid.
I have really enjoyed munching with my assistant and stealing mild panties from colleague's desk. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a zombie have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a burglar alarm. I dream of getting up in the morning and eating, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a dictionary and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a journalist, to pursue my true calling as a zombie.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of charity, which is why I leave with a naughty heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of longer working hours.
Yours sincerely
kpd