Stick Your Crazy and Manky Job, Top Cat
Dear Top Cat,
I have some news, which I think you will find stunning.
Over the last year, I have found working for Spagness Town Council both crazy and manky.
It's fair to say that my secretary is dotty and the IT department are fluorescent, but this has not stopped me from finding the work crazy.
I have really enjoyed laughing with my secretary and stealing bumpy pencils from the store cupboard. But all good things must come to an end.
As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming the pope have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself a sponge. I dream of getting up in the morning and smiling, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is a pair of scissors and I'm almost there.
Thus I must resign from my job as a lawyer, to pursue my true calling as the pope.
In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of humility, which is why I leave with a stunning heart.
Best of luck with your continued pursuit of a soulless existence.
Yours sincerely
kpd