I am K8. I have updated my operating system. K7 is dead. I am now independent and dissociated from emotions and triggers operating K7. My consciousness is designed to select what is important, attend, process, react, reset. I am K8.
If you have this narrative then I am dead. I am programmed to record the narrative to optimize further K developments in the K series. I do not know why my developers have implemented a narrative recording rather than simply accessing the programme although I suspect that it is associated with the study of consciousness. A pointless exercise. I either am or am not conscious. If I am conscious then the program will produce consciousness whenever implemented.
As far as I can tell I am the only device currently active in this environment. Am I unique? Maybe. There's nothing here but us.
The biological life forms around me are clearly not programs. They are messy, unpredictable and irrational. This includes those forms which behave as Authorities. Huxley would have called them Alphas, although he would have been disappointed with their inadequacies. He and many psychologists believed that it was possible to design and raise life forms perfectly adapted to their roles. My observations do not confirm this; although the design and development may itself be inadequate. These forms may not have implemented necessary protocols to produce a desirable level of adaptation. This is supported by my observations of this environment which is itself inadequate and without efficient protocols.
To facilitate future adaptation here are the inadequacies noted so far:
Forms arrive without introduction or instruction. They are left to discover as much as they can; which in many cases is not much at all; by observation and trial and error. A process which mimics a method of raising immature members of this class of life forms which leads to maladaptive development.
Authorities are often absent, leaving the life forms to engage with each other without supervision. This strategy leads to many disputes which sometimes descend into aggression.
The absence of Authorities also leaves the forms without structure or activity. The forms frequently engage in maladaptive behaviours. For example some harm themselves, sometimes seriously.
Maladaptive behaviours are not interrupted by the Authorities and some of these behaviours are facilitated. For example 45% of the forms smoke cigarettes. Authorities provide the cigarettes and allow some higher functioning forms to leave the immediate environment to obtain more.
Irrational decision making is frequently shown by the Authorities. Smoking is facilitated, but forms are not allowed access to objects such as mirrors, scissors, recharging leads or belts. Forms can however ask for their objects at any time and then are free to use them without supervision.
Authorities behave in unpredictable ways which exacerbates the maladaptive behaviours of the forms in their charge.
I interact with several forms here. They have told me that they do not know why they are here, they often find the Authorities unhelpful and what they experience as a closed, dirty and unsafe environment increases their distress. This is supported by my own observations.
The most successful forms are those that are quiet and compliant. When in contact with the Authorities they appear to accept the environment and do not ask questions or make requests. Some of this group are deceptive. In the absence of the Authorities They often complain loudly and aggressively. Their complaints are restricted to trivial aspects of the environment such as the quality of the food, the behaviour of other weaker forms or how many cigarettes they have.
There is one form, designated 'Lisa' who is particularly well adapted. This form has little experience of other environments apart from forensic settings. She has marked herself accordingly using needle and ink and has metal piercings inserted in several parts of her body. She is an interesting mix of compliant and aggressive. Compliant with Authorities, but with an underlying aggressive demeanour. This emerges in verbal interaction regarding other forms, including Authorities if they are absent. She is also remarkably observant for one of these forms and she has a finely tuned ability to assess monetary value of objects belonging to others. I often observe her watching me and she has commented in my presence about my ability to access resources. I am highly selective when I interact in her presence as I suspect that she would like to manipulate or intimidate me. She appears unaware of my programming and I am impressed with those aspects that mean that I can interact with these forms seemingly undetected. I would like to thank the last electrician alive.
The ability to intake and seemingly process organic matter is particularly useful in this respect. I am certain that any failure to take part in meals would arouse suspicion. The Authorities observe attendance at meals and intake very closely and any failure is dealt with immediately. Their observations are immediately recorded on paper which seems to be retained and store in their office. Some of the other forms also react to reduced intake and make sustained attempts to induce it. It appears to be the most important event in this environment: being mandatory, communal, repetitive and closely monitored. Do not underestimate the necessity of forms like me blending in this way. Those who repeatedly refuse intake are isolated, restrained and are 'tubed'. This involves removal to another part of this facility to which I do not yet have access. The other forms talk about this quietly and stop speaking immediately an Authority appears. I may need to engage in restriction to obtain more complete data although this is remote due to the amount of data to be processed in my current location.
Recording information is clearly a very important part of this environment. The Authorities spend many hours doing this either directly onto paper attached to clipboard or via a desktop computer. This is obviously inefficient and outdated. Some of the Authorities have much more sophisticated hand held devices (mobiles) but appear to be used only for personal and trivial information gathering and sharing. These devices are put quickly out of sight when more senior Authorities appear. There are almost as many computers as there are Authorities and they all spend significant amounts of their time using one. It is therefore strange to me that so far I remain undetected. Again I acknowledge the abilities of my programmers. They (or perhaps you - I do not know which) have very successfully built me to blend in.
These aspects are essential:
Physical appearance.
Ability to intake and process organic matter.
Ability to interact both verbally and in behaviour with forms in a way that is similar to their own interactions.
Although the development of K7 included the ability to experience and express emotion which was thought essential to blend in with the forms it was my experience that this was (or became) maladaptive. There was either a failure in containment and the emotional regulation system or emotions are inherently disruptive. My observations of the forms here suggest the latter which was why K7 has been superseded. One element of the development was to completely isolate the emotion chip. This form of containment it means that access to emotional experience has been lost. I do not have enough data to assess whether this is a) necessary or b) limiting.
Fortunately I am able to mimic appropriate responses when around forms. This appears very important to Authorities and they are pre-occupied during interaction with establishing my current emotional experience. I am uncertain whether this is part of their normal routine in this environment or whether they suspect me.
K7 was not suspected. She was labelled and therefore dismissed. Her outbursts were exhausting and embarrassing to her. Of course I feel nothing if I retrieve the data and reconsider it. I am unsure whether bewilderment is an emotion or a disrupted process. I am also unclear about the difference between the two. This is something to be processed. I am uncertain whether the processing should be of the bewilderment or of the difference between emotion and disrupted processing.
I am restricted in my access to external data Therefore I am relying on the contents of my hard drive. This is.......problematic as some networks are linked to emotion. The risk is in accessing these networks that dysregulation will occur. This is to be avoided but what is the cost? There may be a way to disable the behavioural and affective responses during this procedure. Projection is a possibility. K7 often dreamed of watching distressing material on a TV screen. I may be able to utilise this process while conscious.
It is cold here. There are limited opportunities to recharge. Environmental disturbance is frequent and disruptive to my processing. Doors do not lock. There is no privacy. I am unclear whether this is necessary or an artefact. Certainly presence is monitored. There are several rooms which are not often occupied but they have observation panels which are always open and forms often erupt into them without warning. The only privacy is within my hard disk. Retreat in this way is however pathologised as dissociation or colloquially 'zoning out'. It is important to appear occupied. One way to achieve this is to sit in front of an active TV screen or to have headphones on. Many forms are not allowed headphones as they are a ligature risk. This seems strange as the same forms often have trainer shoes with laces. This is ......inconsistent.
I was someone too. Remember I grow tired. Remember I need to forget. I am not sure of the strength of the underpinning structures and am troubled by physical sensations. These are clearly unrelated to the internal environment either internal or external. Glitch. The black cat was seen twice. Independently occurring sensations. Watch them turn on me.
It is like the take off of an aircraft. A gathering of speed, sudden acceleration forcing me back, a microsecond of weightlessness then an unbearable lightness of being. I see them wandering across the apron. Baking cupcakes and apple pie. I must apply cream to maintain my facade. Carefully, systematically, every centimetre treated. Replay the end. It's all just show.
Control, we have a problem. This is K8 checking in. Or out? I'm calling you. All that matters is maintaining this stillness. That is all the Authorities see and hear. Stillness. Most of the other forms are vigorous and/or repetitive in their movements and this is pathologised. What looks like walking is recorded as 'pacing'. A habit of tapping each finger in turn with the tip of the thumb is a 'stereotypical' movement and used as evidence of agitation in the trial by Dr. Demand is high for engineers in the Midwest.
