Hello @agmoore. Yes, I believe the truth lies tangled in the web of family dynamics that children don't even know exist at the time. They have no choice sometimes when decisions are made that will irrevocably affect their future lives. Yes, I feel deeply about the entire circumstances surrounding me and my siblings estrangement. Combing through census records does nothing but maddens me. But I must for the sake of my children to give them as best a history as I can locate. It will never replace personal experience.

I truly can't reconcile my parents' decisions to distance themselves on both sides from their families, even refusing resources that could have made a tremendous difference on our meager upbringing. Remarkably sad.

"And children refuse to forgive the parent. How?"

One circumstance I've had to come to terms with. Abuse by a spouse that led the wife to separate and move to another state, leaving behind my then four-year mother couldn't have been an easy decision. Life in the early early 30s was difficult for rural existence. Long story short, my mother never forgave her for it because at age 13, her dad gave her away to be married. There are truly some situations that are just heartbreaking.

It is what it is. We have always taught our children that, unless there is any type of abuse involved, children need to know both sets of grandparents, no matter their relationship. PERIOD.

Thank you so much for your visit and connection with my story. Reading of your somewhat similar story made me realize that thousands of other situations have and continue to happen daily. How can your dad not have acknowledged his children even upon death? Perhaps the people left behind in his life had a hand in that.

I appreciate your engagement and support. Thanks so much for the tip. Take care and have a good rest of your week.