Enough With Your Loud Gerbils and Smelly Sound-proofing
Dear Gerry,
I have always felt frustrated living near to you. You are the most spiky neighbour a person could ever meet.
Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.
I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud singing.
I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your gerbils is too loud and your sound-proofing way too smelly. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hedge trimmer
I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud singing from upsetting me. I demand that you rehome to dog then cut down the hedge.
And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your broken fence increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a pleasant neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.
If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the police and post photos of your loud singing on Reddit.
Furthermore, I have close ties with gangsters and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.
Thanks
justadoge