Insurance costs are so outrageous the only healthcare most Americans can afford is from Dr. Pepper.
My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop...
My favorite joke [ha ha ha](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Womens_rights)
Your first car is a lot like anal... ...you don't really want it but your stepdad gives it to you anyway.
What's the difference between a final exam and an orgy? In an orgy, you fuck and then get tested. In a final exam, you get tested and then you're fucked.
