Grammar Rules Made Easier To Remember
The great logical, or grammatical, framework of language, (for grammar is the logic of speech, even as logic is the grammar of reason,) he would possess, he knew not how. So here is my collection on how to remember "Grammar Rules" in speaking and writing with style and ease.
A period's the longest stop,
Altho' it is a little dot...
The comma is the shortest stop,
Look at this little curly dot,
'Tis used most frequently...
I like commas. I detest semi-colons — I don't think they belong in a story. And I gave up quotation marks long ago. I found I didn't need them, they were fly-specks on the page. If you're doing it right, the reader will know who's talking.
An exclamation point looks like an index finger raised in warning....
We make this mark of admiration
To show we've used some exclamation
To indicate surprise...
A colon, opens its mouth wide: woe to the writer who does not fill it with something nourishing. Visually, the semicolon looks like a drooping moustache...
A dash indeed is quite abrupt,
'Tis put almost to interrupt...
I always put the apostrophe in "ain’t" to make certain I’m using proper improper English.
The serial comma is sê×ÿ, smart and useful.
You know you’re a language nerd when you have a strong opinion about serial commas.
Use of the serial comma (the final comma in the series and the one before the conjunction) is a matter of the writer’s personal taste or may be a requirement of the style guide a publisher uses. Not all writers use the final comma before the conjunction.
Your participle’s danglin’
But I don’t want your drama
If you really wanna
Leave out that Oxford comma
Just keep in mind
That be, see, are, you
Are words, not letters...
And listen up when I tell you this
I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis...
Use the semicolon properly, always use it where it is appropriate; and never where it isn’t.
Reserve the apostrophe for it’s proper use and omit it when its not needed.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
Avoid commas, that are not necessary.
And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
A pronoun... will aptly reflect the number of its antecedent: "they" does not refer to one person, no matter how many personalities she or he has, or how eager you are to skirt the gender frays.
Years ago, students were warned not to end a sentence with a preposition; time, of course, has softened that rigid decree. Not only is the preposition acceptable at the end, sometimes it is more effective in that spot than anywhere else. "A claw hammer, not an ax, was the tool he murdered her with." This is preferable to "A claw hammer, not an ax, was the tool with which he murdered her." Why? Because it sounds more violent, more like murder. A matter of ear.
And would you write "The worst tennis player around here is I" or "The worst tennis player around here is me"? The first is good grammar, the second is good judgment...
The writer is in a permanent predicament when it comes to punctuation marks; if one were fully aware while writing, one would sense the impossibility of ever using a mark of punctuation correctly and would give up writing altogether. For the requirements of the rules of punctuation and those of the subjective need for logic and expression are not compatible... The conflict must be endured each time, and one needs either a lot of strength or a lot of stupidity not to lose heart.
Let me just acknowledge that the function of grammar is to make language as efficient and clear and transparent as possible. But if we’re all constantly correcting each other’s grammar and being really snotty about it, then people stop talking because they start to be petrified that they’re going to make some sort of terrible grammatical error and that’s precisely the opposite of what grammar is supposed to do, which is to facilitate clear communication.
