My LIfe - 2017-10-23 | Ecency

Rick Grimes said we already won. This inspires me to fight more. We continue going because we already won. In the end, good wins, be it God or not. The meaning to life is love, which means choice. Love is justice &, more importantly, love is unconditional grace, eternal mercy, agape, forgiveness, kindness, second chances, & that is the emphasis alongside the justice, the discipline, the development side, the tough love part, long-term things. Life is amazing. Life is meant to be experienced &, more importantly, shared. Out of grace, we choose to share. We experience life. We make choices, & we share that with others. In other words, we contribute to society, to ourselves, to family, for family, friends, sometimes to our enemies. We build on the success of each other.

07:30 AM - woke up, walked to PC, made coffee, had trouble with the filter, but that didn't stop me from making coffee as usual. Like Scott Adams says, get your coffee. He asked me if I wanted more & I passed. 6 days a week, normally, I spend 40 minutes walking from OTC to PC and then another 40 minutes to MDNH and another 10 minutes or so to OTC. Normally, those are the three places I go to each day since maybe April 2017 & before that it was AC, PC, & TLJ, going back to April 2016, on average, just three places per day the past 2 years or so on average. I'm in this kind of routine but may find ways to change what I do.

2017-10-23 - TWD 801 - Monday 10 AM PC -
10:00 AM - TWD 801 - watched the first episode of The Walking Dead (TWD) where Rick Grimes said, already, as I already said, that we already won. God says that, too. WOL co-founder Harry Bollback said we are on the winning side. I'm watching the WOL intro video about what they do. Went to their school. Worked with them. Miss them as I'm living in Vietnam the past 5 years now. Am thinking about being a missionary for the USA, my own country, more so now than ever before. Was drawing pictures of my dream wedding & my dream missionary career since 1993. Drew a picture a mobile platform with balloons (ads) in around 1993. Was drawing castles. Liked a girl. Drew a picture of like marrying her but then she died. Was born in the year 1985 in state of Oregon, in the country of the USA, my home. Was homeschooled in Oregon until public high school in 2000. Went to a WOL college in 2004 in New York. Went to abc in 2006. Started working with The Salvation Army from 2007 to 2011. Worked in work study, before, during, & after school, in kitchen, maintenance, dishwashing, bakery, cooking, housekeeping, laundry. Worked as a camp counselor for 5 years at camps in NY, CA, OR. Worked in landscaping with dad. Worked in web design on project Mea Omnia. Filmed since 1996. Been blogging since 2004, been writing since 1995, been drawing since 1990. Been in Vietnam since 2012, teaching. Have gone down different career paths in my life. I say that to say I might have been too unfocused in life. Maybe left the USA because nobody liked me. That is how I felt. That is how I feel sometimes. It does not mean people do not like me. But in some ways, I feel that is true. But what I am saying is rather complex. But I am making it sound like it is just about me. I typically rant about my life about how I feel. I have written these things many times. My mom & others normally comment that I am being negative. Then I comment back & try to defend myself by saying I'm not being negative. I'm actually trying to document my life & I'm trying to tell my story which can help others. So, that is part of the purpose of this rant and all of the rants I do and stuff. It is both simple and complex in balls on paradox parties. Come to the paradoxical parties inside my head.

Was telling myself that I should stop selling yourself too short and too often and stuff. I told myself that on my way to MDNH. Sometimes I sell myself too high. I go too high. I say I can do more than what people think I am able to do. I make myself sound too unbelievable. I do that too often in my 32 years of life. I do that sometimes accidentally but also purposely sometimes or more often & I kind of do it because I think it will work or it is an experiment or whatever. There are many reasons & also excuses for why I do it & for why I do or not do many things. But I also, more often than not, sell myself short by not telling people what I really can do. For example, in 2009, I auditioned for the Comcast Wanted Adventure Host show & I kind of tried to make up some jokes as the judges interviewed me. I was trying to be funny. I was expecting them to know me because I did email them & told them why I was qualified to be an adventure host. But on TV, I didn't talk about my experience in the wilderness as a wilderness counselor for many years. I didn't talk about the stuff I did in the wild, stuff I build, things I climbed, & so on. I did the opposite. They asked if I had what it takes & I said I don't but that is hwy I have lovely judges, producers, like you guys. I was kind of kissing their behinds. I am not too sure why I did it now but was kind of doing it for a few reasons. I was kind of not interested in winning, either. Part of me wanted to win & the other wasn't. So, I was truly half way in and half way out. I gave them a mating call. I said I was green oatmeal & that we can make the world greener with one oatmeal at a time. My dad saw me on TV in 2009. Others did, too. But, that was a missed opportunity. It might have been the wrong path for me. We can speculate all we want about what if I won that competition. Others told me to join American Idol. Some of them just want to see me make a fool of myself. Some may care about me. It is often hard to know who is honest & who isn't. This morning, was thinking about supply & demand. Forgot my towel for blowing my nose. I wrote a comment on my Facebook about being you is the best thing you can do to be true to yourself & then I got some weird comment from some random guy from who knows what country. He said that was true. I hid my post as I often do as I thought it was not popular enough . I am often a clean freak & want things to be bigger & better & everything.

Disney bought a Weinstein company, MiraMax back in 1993 or so. They find pedophiles there & in many places. Disney knew & is helping by not stopping the bad child murderers, rapers, abusers, th trafficking, and so on. We need to boycott Disney, too. Why did George Lucas sell his Star Wars & everything else to evil Disney?

Vietnamese told me they're not taught world history in school.

One of my life goals, besides health & philosophy, is to help people learn history. My priorities might include those three:

Priorities from best to least: