Your first love is always alive and lives all the time in your heart. How much you try to forget, it never goes away with your heart.
I have been keeping my secrets since I was a child and none of those leaked to my friends as I have trust issues when I was young. I never share something even with my close friends before especially a crush or secretly love someone. I was afraid of rejection even just as a friend, being rejected because I did not belong to a group and was bullied. Nonetheless, it never stops me from liking someone without letting him know. I prefer not to tell anyone to avoid bullying.
Now, I guess it's time to tell the world about my past crush and love.
I remembered when I was in Grade 1, I have a crush on my classmate, named Ni帽o, I was 8 years old at that time. I do have a crush on him since he is considerate, generous, brainy, and most of all handsome (in my eyes馃槄). As a young admirer, I keep myself busy by sweeping the floor of our classroom even without the command of our teacher. I have been active in our class and it is for him to impress char!
My love for him grows as he is generous as well. Like he use to give us his viand during lunchtime. Our viand was dried fish (always) because we don't have something to buy other than that. His viand was always chorizo or hotdog and we were starving for it maybe he felt that we wanted one, so he gave us one. That's why I like him a lot.
During the recognition, he was the second honor and I was the third one however, we are in section D (the last section of all馃槀). My feelings for him lasted for 6 years since he transferred to another school. I don't have any connection with him considering there's no Facebook at that time. Now, I have seen him after years past. Do you know where I saw him? In a bank where I loan money. I was a bit shy and wanted to transfer to another bank where I could loan but I am already there. There's no going back馃槶.
During the transaction, we had a conversation since he'd still remember me. But me? I remembered him a lot! And that should remain a memory to me since we are now in our individual lives and has a family already. Thanks to the love and experiences I have I'll forever be cherished.
They said that high school is the unforgettable one, yes it's true yet in confusion. Why? Because I dressed like a boy, I mean I don't like wearing fitted jeans and blouses, only those loose ones. There's a group of boys in our class who always tease me, expressing a dislike whenever I'm around because I was like a lesbian. However, I knew in myself that I am a girl but the way I dressed seems goes wrong. I am contradicting myself since I am not used to dressing so girly.
They didn't know that one of the boys was my crush named Junvie. He is a silent one, has a big manly voice, and is intelligent. Whenever his group bullied me, he never goes with them. That's from the first year until the fourth year of having with the group. I never had so much time of focusing on him since I'm in confusion. But at least I am normal, haha. I never liked someone unless I'm over to my recent crush. Being a loyal admirer, it goes a long-term goal.
Now, he is also successful and has reached his dream of being a Policeman.
During my college days, I met new faces and it's undeniably of liking them of their appearance as well as being smart. Each of us has a standard when we're liking someone. In my case, I like a person who has narrow eyes even my crushes before aside from being brainy. My first year went well without crushing on my classmates.
Meanwhile, in my second year, I found the one that I liked a lot! Haha. His name is Marjun, I don't exactly know his performance in the class yet I had a crush on him just as I first saw him in school, char! I never had a formal encounter with him since we were just strangers and I am right in a corner looking at him secretly. That was until I graduated, never been in my mind of confessing my feelings or telling anybody.
It was just this past few years, my co-teacher and co-blogger, elloquent, told me that Marjun was her ex. I was like, what?! What a coincidence! Honestly, they have chemistry and look good together. However, they were fated with another person.
I never had a formal relationship with someone except my husband. He is my first true love. All those memories I had remains in my heart and memory.
This is my participation in Hiveph's February blogging contest.
Thank you for reading this far. Happy love month!
