Human A: "Try this!"
Human B: "Is it hot?"
Human A: "No."
Human B: "Your not hot, or my not hot?"
Human A: "...it's not hot."
Human B: "..." takes a bite
Nonhuman Cremember: "Why is Human B crying while guzzling milk?"
Human A: "It's not hot!"
Human B: (takes a moment to stop guzzling milk)(snot and tears running down face) "I'm sensitive to capsaicin, and you eat raw ghost peppers for fun! Your 'not hot' is not my 'not hot'!" (goes back to drinking milk) -- Escla
Thaq summoned Companion Phrel with a relatively simple, "The Humans are at it again." It was ships' shorthand. The Humans needed an intervention from a rational cogniscent. Again. All the manuals said that Humans pack-bonded and needed at least one Human around to fulfil their societal needs, but this pair were continually battling.
Maybe they'd be better off getting a family set, next time. If they all survived to have a next time. These balding apes were nothing but trouble. If not to the crew, then certainly to each other.
Phrel arrived with hir go bag and took in the resultant scene. After a handful of seconds to assess the chaos, ze opened the bag and dug out a selection of small yellow cubes. One of these was administered to Human Bob with, "Here, suck on this."
Next, Phrel rounded on Human Ali. "What did we tell you about scofield ratings?"
Human Ali mumbled, "...'s a rotten system, and it's bunk..."
"Human Ali..." Phrel scolded. "What did we really say?"
Rolled eyes, a deep sigh. "Always refer to the scofield rating before sharing with Human Bob," he groaned.
"What was the scofield rating of the food you just shared, Human Ali?"
Another begrudgingly sighed, "One point two five million..."
"And that is...?"
"Not that hot?"
"And that is...?" menaced Phrel.
"That is too hot for an inordinate amount of cogniscent lifeforms, and therefore legally defined as 'hot'."
"So in future we are...?"
"...going to refer to scofield in all food sharing cases," sighed Human Ali.
Phrel settled hir feathers and saw to Human Bob, who was whimpering and rolling their treatment around in their mouth. "We can sedate you while we take over treatment if you like?"
Human Ali, still sulking, mumbled, "...not that hot..." and, "...flakkin' baby tongue..." under their breath.
"Please," begged Human Bob.
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / onlyfabrizio]
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