Money doesn't make you happy, but it's a lot more comfortable to be unhappy with money
And lately, the financial circumstances seemed to be more difficult than good. And that put a lot of pressure on my shoulders, and certainly also on my mood. I think everyone recognizes that problem, when the costs are higher than the income…not because you can change it through an extreme lifestyle, but simply because of a source of income that is not enough for the normal things in life to hear.
And the latter is nothing new. That has been the case for several years now. Due to an extremely frugal lifestyle, we had built something up, and were even able to drive a small car again. But in all that time, my boyfriend's salary hasn't gone up. That has everything to do with the company where he works, and the fact that the government has put a stop to salary increases there. So as a result, his salary is not increased every year, while the cost of living here in the Netherlands really does go up every year.
Now for this coming year, just to name one example, the cost of electricity per person in the Netherlands will increase by an average of 168 euros per year. It doesn't sound like much, but calculate this on 2 people and you will arrive at more than 300 euros per year in extra costs. That has to be conjured up from somewhere, and from my boyfriend's salary, of course, that's getting harder and harder. We were able to save something by living very frugally, but that is becoming increasingly difficult. And now that the costs for petrol have risen sharply again to almost 2 euros per liter of petrol, the costs in the supermarket have gone up considerably again, so that you have to count 100 euros for an average week of shopping for 2 people ... yes, then the situation is becoming something to worry about again!
Then we were faced with a few unexpected bills that had to be paid ... and which we could not even do about. Long story, so I don't feel like telling that at all. But in fact, one of the two bills was already very wrong that my boyfriend had to pay for it. Anyway, it had to be done to avoid hassle with bailiffs. We have no debt now and would like to keep it that way. Even if that means we have even fewer options ourselves…
But that does not alter the fact that I am certainly not always happy with such a financial situation, in which you seem to be balancing on the edge of the abyss. Fight really hard to get on top, and when you think you're getting somewhere, the next setback comes your way. 
For now, to solve some problems, I have decided with pain in my heart to sell my Telcoin and keep a bit of it in my bank account myself. Most of it I transferred to my boyfriend's bank account, so he could use it to pay bills. Thank god for crypto. But of course I wasn't happy … because what had I worked so hard for? To lose it to something that is of no use to us at all. That hurts. Very simply put.
In addition, the gray weather that we have seen every day here in the Netherlands for weeks does not help at all to get a better mood. In fact, it pulls me down, it almost gives me a winter depression and I can say with certainty that I have never longed for a holiday, change of scenery and sun so much. Unfortunately, none of this seems to be in it for the time being. So I had to find a different way to break through my approaching depression. From experience, I know that I have to do it myself … that I have to try to flip that switch myself. Even if it is ever so difficult. It will have to get out of me and soon. Because once in such a mood, I also know from experience that it can sink further very quickly. And I want to prevent that.
So, where I already have to walk the dogs every day, I am now walking with Skipper much more than what I normally do. I know it's always difficult, especially in the beginning, to switch from a 'usual-pee-and-poo-walk' to a 'clear-your-head-anti-depression-walk'. Yet that's what I'm doing now. Which means that we now quietly walk together in the woods for about 2.5 hours. And during those walks, I focus entirely on nature and Skipper. I try to forget the worries and to think in solutions. And I'm trying to tap into my creativity again. Because believe me, that also suffers quite a bit from those financial setbacks every time.
During the walks With Skipper I now also take my camera with me more and more. That is not only good for me, but also for Skipper because he has yet to really learn this. So we're spending more and more time outside, just differently to what I'd hoped for before the summer started. And certainly in a different mood than I expected. Normally I have no trouble at all with an impending depression in the summer ... Unfortunately, a gray summer has changed that this year.
After returning home from one such walk with Skipper, I did a number of job applications… and believe it. It's setback after setback what you get. If you hear anything. Because often you just don't hear anything at all.
But … what I had not counted on was the offer that came to me from an unexpected source. 
Anyway, it's a motivation to work hard online, to be able to be a little more relaxed offline, hopefully!
