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Capt. Keynes: Alright, we’ll be arriving at our target in approximately two hours, so let’s go over the mission briefing. First of all, our target is this planetoid in the Kappa-Sigma Prime system, codenamed “New Haven”. Preliminary reports suggest that it lacks a nickel-iron core, meaning it should have no magnetosphere, yet there appears to be an abundance of vegetation on the surface.
C.B. Belrose: So what if there’s no magnetosphere? Were we expecting a migratory species of plant or something?
C.AP. Doolan: Who made this guy Chief Biologist? Hey Belrose, did you switch to studying biology because physics was too challenging?
C.B. Belrose: Piss off, Doolan.
A.B. Douglas: No magnetosphere means the planet isn’t protected from solar radiation, right?
C.AP. Doolan: He-ey, looks like we’ve got a candidate for new C.B. over here. Or maybe you could ditch this moron and join the Astrophysics department. Lord knows why I’m the only expert they sent.
C.B. Belrose: Fuck off, Doolan! So I didn’t understand the implications right away. I get it now. So the planet is constantly being bombarded by radiation, and nothing should be able to survive that, yet the ecosystem seems to be thriving.
Capt. Keynes: That’s right. Now, if you’re done bickering, ladies, I’ll continue with the briefing. We are to position the Nimbus in low orbit over our designated research site. The ship will act as an artificial radiation shield, blocking any incoming solar or cosmic radiation. From the intelligence gathered so far, it seems that the vegetation acts as a radiation-sponge, absorbing any incoming radiation and dispersing it through unknown means. The rate of absorption appears to be extremely rapid, so the ambient radiation of our research site should reach safe levels within about three days, giving us plenty of time to set up.
C.B. Belrose: How can a plant absorb radiation?
C.AP. Doolan: I swear, it’s like you’re trying to get Douglas promoted. If we knew that, why the fuck would we have brought you along?
*inaudible crashing and shouting*
Capt. Keynes: Sit down and shut the fuck up, both of you! You’re professionals, goddammit! Start acting like it!
*mumbling*
Capt. Keynes: Now, then. We’re to establish our base of operations in the upper canopy. Our estimates show that these tree-like protrusions covering the planetoid extend down a hundred meters or more, so our exploration will be limited at first. Once we have our base established and the ambient radiation has dropped to a safe amount, we will begin our research and exploration. However, I want to stress the importance of remaining in your exosuits even after the background radiation has dropped until we are absolutely sure it is safe. There may be predators or further dangers that we are not aware of. I will also remind you that, even though this is a scientific mission, we are still exploring unknown territory. It is critical that you remain armed at all times. You have all received tactical training and have been supplied with both a primary weapon and sidearm. Use them only if necessary, but hesitation could mean death. Remember that.
C.AP. Doolan: Douglas, if you shoot Belrose, I promise to look the other way.
*inaudible crashing and shouting*
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