Hello Everyone,
I just got back from my daily walk. I have to get out daily (well I try) to get some Vitamin D to help my mood and according to my doctor my Vitamin D deficiency but also to clear my head and try to be present and maintain a mindful attitude.
While walking I started thinking about the conversation my husband and I had the other day. He said that he was annoyed at everyone trying to find their purpose in life, the meaning of life. My husband is a realist to much so sometimes and it's funny that he is married to me. My husband does things because it has to get done, he doesn't try to find a deeper meaning into anything. He has simple tastes and he is not a complicated man. I am, however, the complete opposite. I need a purpose in life in everything that I do. At least pretend there is if not I would throw in the towel!
About once a month I contemplate this; What is the meaning of life? What is my purpose in the universe right now? I have to have faith that there is a bigger plan, a higher purpose than me laying in my pajamas for 4 days. That my mental anguish is not going to take over me because I have a purpose today, I must get up!
When I wake up in the morning I have to have a plan for what I will do that day. I have it written down in my daily planner ( yes I actually still have one of those!). I do this for several reasons. Its allows me to stay focused on my short term and long term goals, it reduces my triggers because I feel as though I have some control over my day (so even if the lady at the post office gives me attitude again!) it does not affect me (well some days are better than others) as much. It always serves as a reminder that there is a bigger picture. We can't get absorbed by the hustle and bustle because life is about so much more.
I think I have been the happiest when I have felt sure of my place, my role with my family, my goal in my career, and my purpose for existence. When I start to loose that focus, my energy escapes me. I get swept in by the overdue bills, the rent needs to be paid, the dogs have to go to the vet, what is for dinner, how much is in the bank account, I mean the list goes on and on. Sometimes I can get so overwhelmed with everything I feel defeated, consumed and I don't want to continue anymore. If I didn't remind myself that I still have not found my true purpose in life, remind myself that I am not done contributing to society, to the universe than I would have ended it a long time ago.
Something I have learned while contemplating life is that everyone has their own kind of happy. So if my husband or anyone is happy just living life and taking it how it is....do you. But I have to and will continue contemplating what the meaning of life is....maybe that is my true purpose?
